The Cooking Channel - Cooking Encouragement

I just love the Cooking Channel. My most favorite Chef's are Giada (do I say more)..Chuck Hughes , Bobby Flay, Laura Calder, David Rocco, Jamie Oliver, Ingrid Hoffman and finally Nigella. When I am home during the week on my days off, I will turn the Cooking Channel and my above 'friends' entertain me in the afternoon.

I have been encouraged to use fresh herbs rather than using dried herbs (and it does make a difference). I have begun using herbs that I have always previously ignored. I have gotton brave and begun using cheeses I would have overlooked, especially fresh mozzarella and parmigiano reggiano (both are wonderful). I have learned to NEVER put oil in pasta, learned how to poach an egg in a pot of water, pan fry a steak and never over cook anything.

I have decided to begin a new journey to share what I have learned about cooking. Admittedly, I'm no professional, but I love to attempt new recipes. Therefore, I am beginning a new blog called "The Fanciful Foodie" Discover ~ Create ~ Experience

Remembering September 11, 2011

10 years ago today, The United States was attacked by terrorists. Planes were hijacked, used as weapons, and crashed into the World Trade Centers in NYC and The Pentagon. Some very brave men fought very hard to keep the last plane from targeting The White House and the plane crashed in a country field in Pennsylvania. In all, around 2900 souls were lost that day. All of the United States mourned.

The older generation likens the impact of 9 /11 to Pearl Harbor being attacked in 1941 and the day President Kennedy was assasinated. Everyone seems to remember exactly what they were doing when these events occurred.

I was at work when the first phone call came in from an employee who had just gotten home from working 3rd Shift. She called in to tell us. The rest is history. Calls after calls from very upset customer service agents wanting to know if the company was open. A room was designated for colleagues who had family in NYC.

After leaving from work, I was driving down Bryan Blvd in Greensboro, listening to the radio of the days events and it just so happened the Radio started playing the Star Spangled Banner as I was driving by the O'Henry Hotel, who simultaneously was lower the flag on top of the building to half mast. I stopped and cried for the first time. Cried for the innocent victims who died. Cried for the families and colleagues of those who were lost. Cried for our country, knowing we would never be the same.

After getting home, I was glued to the TV. Friends came over...we cried together...watched the futile rescue efforts.

The days following, we all were glued to the TV...I bought magazines, newspapers about the events. It was just surreal.

Today, 10 years later, as the news shows pictures of the remembrance services...clips of 9/11....it seems so long ago...but at the same time...seems like yesterday.

The Souls that were lost that day....May God keep them in the palm of his hand.

For the family of the survivors...May God Bless them and keep them. May his face shine upon them and give them peace !

Life has unexpected twists and turns. Sometimes the twists are exciting and new. However, sometimes the turns are sudden, sharp and painful. Over the last week, I have had a somewhat unexpected turn; A turn I was hoping to not to make, but events outside my control escalated and I made the necessary and proper turn. The ironic thing: If I could have been able to step back and seen the warning signs, the outcome may have been different.

Over the last week, I have moved my youngest son (17 years old) to his mom and step dad's home. It was a difficult decision, but he made the choice by his actions. I just followed thru and said "Enough". It was a difficult and painful week. I love the boy, 100% of the time, but I don't like him very much right now. He's not the son I raised. His behaviour is of a child I don't know. He can be the sweetest and funniest kid, but over the last year, he has been angry, defensive, obstinate, disrespectful and rebellious. I no longer will tolerate the "know it all" attitude...the arrogance, the disrespect for me and the household property.

There's no meeting him half way. He must follow the rules and behave in the way he knows is right and expected of him. I am no perfect parent, but I have been a good dad to him. In fact, maybe a little to good. I have trusted when I shouldn't have trusted. I have been far to lenient and have allowed little supervision when he needed it the most. I should have forced him to stay with his mom on the weekends when I worked, but I didn't force the issue. Therefore, he was left unsupervised and he took advantage of my trust in him. Over time, his behaviour has worstened and the disregard of my household rules and the disrespect for me has escalated.

My ex wife came over on Tuesday and we packed his room. Eight bags of trash accumulated after finishing the clean up. Since, I have begun tearing down the Wallpaper border. I will have to hire someone to patch the 4 holes he punched in the walls over this year. I will have to replace the bedroom door he kicked and put a hole all the way thru. Once the holes are repaired, room painted, carpets cleaned, I will turn the room into a guest room.

My son has been out of the house since Tuesday evening. I am amazed how quiet it is at home. My daughter, who is 20, is still living at home, but she uses the house as headquarters to pop in and out...to shower...sleep...eat....lol. She is very busy and active with friends...all the time. I seem to have all this extra time on my hands. I didn't realize how incapacitated I had become, wondering of his whereabouts and if he was behaving. I am still not quite sure what to do with myself. I am hoping that I will stop procrastinating and start working on some household projects such as painting the kitchen, hallway, bathrooms and 2 bedrooms...I have enough work to keep me busy for a while.

By no means have I given up my parental respsonsibilities. My responsilibity is to keep him in a safe and secure environment. Hence, He has been moved to his mom's home so he can have more supervision. My ex wife doesn't work and she and her husband are home on weekends. I work weekends and work evenings, when supervision was needed.

I do hope and pray that our relationship will heal over time. However, he has to choose to do the right thing. He is a smart and intelligent kid. He knows right from wrong. He has to make a decision to choose "right". I love him more than he will probably ever know.

The Mystery of Relationships

I have determined the connection one feels in a relationship is unexplainable. You know what I mean? The sense of "connectedness". The feeling of belonging to someone and they belonging to you. The "I know that I know, I am in love".

I consider myself a fairly balanced person. I am in touch with my feelings and pretty well can identify what I am feeling at any particular moment. However, trying to determine if I am in love, or even deeply "in like", leaves me confused.

I was in a short lived relationship, which I ended, recently. The guy I was involved with is a wonderful man. He is sweet, considerate, thoughtful, loving, and giving. He is not perfect, but yes, a really good man. He seemingly was in love with me. At least that's what he told me and I really believed him. All his actions seemed to be in line with his words. I should have been swept off my feet, right? ....Wrong !! I really like him as a person. I enjoyed talking with him and spending time with him. I loved him as a person and as a friend, but I discovered, not as a Boyfriend or partner. O, I tried to fall in love with him. I tried to "conjure" up those feelings, but to no avail. I would visualize us as a couple and see how good we were together. I couldn't make sense of why my feelings were not as strong as his. I couldn't rationalize why I wasn't feeling all those wonderful "in love" emotions. I started to think something was wrong with me. I started to believe I had a problem which I needed to discover and address. I just kept thinking, "give it more time".

Over the last week, I really started to get panicky. When he would say he was in love with me, I would get feelings of being overwhelmed. I would get this knot in my stomach. I tried telling myself I was just adjusting to a relationship. Adjusting to my life changing, being I was in the throws of "empty nest". No matter, the feelings of uncertainty were there, and then the feelings of guilt. He was such a good man, deserving the best kind of person and love. I was just unable to provide the love he was so desiring.

On Friday AM, the relationship came to an end. I told him in person at his apartment. I was direct, to the point and as I left I patted him on the shoulder. He wouldn't/couldn't look at me. I could tell he was about to cry. I knew if I stayed, I would end up crying too. It took less than 5 minutes to hurt him, and crush his dreams of a future...with me , at least.

I haven't cried as of yet , but I have had moments of deep sadness. I feel like I have lost a good friend. However, overall, I feel a sense of relief. I have been honest to him and to myself. I don't have to feel like I'm being pressured to feel something I'm not.

It's just odd why I never experienced the connection. Why didn't I feel "in loveness" back? I have no idea. I have been in love before. Only 1 time in my life have I ever been truly and deeply in love. I know I am capable. Do we only get one chance at being truly, madly, deeply in love? Are the chances over and no more opportunity to be in love? Is fate dealing me a hard blow and not bringing someone else into my life? Is it all by chance? Do I need to learn something? Overall, I am content as a single person, but it would be nice to feel being "in love".
Well, We'll live and learn...I hope to keep my eyes open and see what God has in store for me.

Where does the Time Go ? !

It's been over a year since my last post. Amazing ! Where does the time go ? In lots of ways, the year has flown by...in other ways, it seems like a life time ago.

In January, the company in which I work, announced the closing of the Greensboro Customer Service Center. It was an extremely difficult time. I had been with the company a little 12 1/2 years at the time of the announcement. In fact, I received a promotion within my department 2 days prior to the announcement. From the time of the announcement , I knew I had my job. The question was, "Where was I going to have to move?" Everyone in my department agreed that we would be relocated to Phoenix. At the end of the day, the VP of my department, assured us that our jobs were safe, but could not give us any clarity on where we may be located. After a couple of months, it was decided that my department would remain in the Greensboro area and move to a new location. I am very very thankful not to have to move from my family.

"Survivor's Guilt" became an emotion that many of us in our department felt. It was difficult to watch 2000 colleagues transitioning to new locations, positions and even leaving our company. My daughter, Jessica, was impacted. She chose to take the severance package and move on to other opportunities. It's been close to 7 months since the closing announcement and the center is very , very empty and very, very quiet. It's eerily quiet. However, again, I'm very thankful to continue on with my company.

Sometimes in life, things don't happen in the timing we plan or expect. My youngest son, 17, and his girlfriend has blessed our family with a beautiful beautiful grandson on July 5. Landon is his name. He is just precious and I am in love with him. I am looking forward to watching him grow up and develop. I just hope and pray, "we" , the entire family, raise him to be a wonderful young man.

In May, I began dating a wonderful guy. He's perfect in many ways. He seems to be intensely in love with me. What more could any one else ask? Well....to have the same feelings for him....which sadly, I don't. As wonderful and perfect he seems...I don't feel the same towards him. I like him so much, but I am not in love with him. Today, I said goodbye to him. I ended the relationship after 2 1/2 months this morning. It was extremely difficult to do. I could have continued on, trying to conjure up emotions. However, he deserves better. He deserves someone to be madly, crazy in love with him. I'm just not that guy. I hope in time, we can be friends.

I have been attending an Episcopal Church in Greensboro for several months now. It's small and quaint. The people are friendly enough. I'm not really involved....not quite sure how to be much more involved, but we'll see. I enjoy the liturgy and the symbolism.

My son in NYC has had quite the year. His BF of 4 years had to move back to Thailand, in June, being his VISA expired. The boys came down for Father's Day and I rode back up with them to NYC and helped with his transition from being a couple to a single guy again. It was like someone had died the day we took his BF to the airport. We came home and just sat. Finally, I grilled some chicken for us and Elliot took a long nap. The next day, I began throwing out or boxing food in the kitchen that I couldn't understand, being it was written in some Asian Langauage. Elliot has adjusted well and is doing well.

Well...all for now....

Well...Basically, another month has past without a post. It's really hard to find the time to sit down and write.

I really didn't mention in my last post that I am losing weight. Since the beginning of March until today...I have lost 35 lbs...Yay ! I have been eating very healthy....fresh fruit...veggies...grilling chicken and fish.

The kids are great ! Andrew got his License Yesterday...I am no longer car pooling any of the kids :( His mom got a another car and he is now driving her old Ford Focus Wagon...LOL ! It's definitley not a Mustang or Camarro....but it is transportation.

Jessica has decided not to return to college this fall. She plans on taking a year or two off and work and try to decide what she would like to do for the rest of her life.

Elliot is still at his job in NY....Still loving life and NY.

Work is still great....Love working 2nd.

My newest hobby is gardening....LOVE IT....

O My - An Over Due Post !

Well, I haven't posted anything since January, when I was in NY, visiting Elliot. Guess where I am now ?! NY, visiting Elliot. I flew in last Tuesday (March 23), and will fly back home this upcoming Tuesday (March 29).

So far, it's been an absolutely wonderful visit. I have walked on the Beach fore several days now. Not short little walks, but 2 hour walks. I walk the 2 mile boardwalk, then walk back by walking right against the shore. I feel like I could walk forever when walking right beside the waves. I have always found the sounds of the waves lapping against the shore, so relaxing. I have found some really interesting shells....It's still pretty cool here, so there are not many people on the beach picking up seashells. So when walking, I have found some really interesting ones. One of the days I walked, the temperature was a little colder than I was expecting, and there was no one on the beach but me. I was in my own little world. It was like heaven on earth. I just got lost in watching and hearing the waves crash on the shore....looking for shells. Time was no longer an enemy. It just didn't exist.

Elliot has had to work during the days, which has afforded me the opportunity to get in exercise, catch up on my reading, do some grocery shopping and cooking.

On Saturday, we took the dogs and walked the Nautical Mile, here in Freeport. It was quite chilly out. We stopped in at a Fresh Seafood Market on the docks and bought fresh red snapper and squid. It was a wonderful meal that evening. Fresh Fish is truly the best.

On Sunday, we drove toward the city to walk the dogs in Central Park, but as we got closer to the city the rain started falling. Therefore, we laid those plans to rest and drove to Queens to the Asian Market. Elliot's BF Nong shops there all the time. I must say, It's a true field trip when I go to the Asian Market. Fresh Vegetables are everywhere...and Fresh Fish....It's unbelievable the food that is out there that I have never tried. I'm so sheltered...LOL...Anyway...all for now