The Cooking Channel - Cooking Encouragement

I just love the Cooking Channel. My most favorite Chef's are Giada (do I say more)..Chuck Hughes , Bobby Flay, Laura Calder, David Rocco, Jamie Oliver, Ingrid Hoffman and finally Nigella. When I am home during the week on my days off, I will turn the Cooking Channel and my above 'friends' entertain me in the afternoon.

I have been encouraged to use fresh herbs rather than using dried herbs (and it does make a difference). I have begun using herbs that I have always previously ignored. I have gotton brave and begun using cheeses I would have overlooked, especially fresh mozzarella and parmigiano reggiano (both are wonderful). I have learned to NEVER put oil in pasta, learned how to poach an egg in a pot of water, pan fry a steak and never over cook anything.

I have decided to begin a new journey to share what I have learned about cooking. Admittedly, I'm no professional, but I love to attempt new recipes. Therefore, I am beginning a new blog called "The Fanciful Foodie" Discover ~ Create ~ Experience

Remembering September 11, 2011

10 years ago today, The United States was attacked by terrorists. Planes were hijacked, used as weapons, and crashed into the World Trade Centers in NYC and The Pentagon. Some very brave men fought very hard to keep the last plane from targeting The White House and the plane crashed in a country field in Pennsylvania. In all, around 2900 souls were lost that day. All of the United States mourned.

The older generation likens the impact of 9 /11 to Pearl Harbor being attacked in 1941 and the day President Kennedy was assasinated. Everyone seems to remember exactly what they were doing when these events occurred.

I was at work when the first phone call came in from an employee who had just gotten home from working 3rd Shift. She called in to tell us. The rest is history. Calls after calls from very upset customer service agents wanting to know if the company was open. A room was designated for colleagues who had family in NYC.

After leaving from work, I was driving down Bryan Blvd in Greensboro, listening to the radio of the days events and it just so happened the Radio started playing the Star Spangled Banner as I was driving by the O'Henry Hotel, who simultaneously was lower the flag on top of the building to half mast. I stopped and cried for the first time. Cried for the innocent victims who died. Cried for the families and colleagues of those who were lost. Cried for our country, knowing we would never be the same.

After getting home, I was glued to the TV. Friends came over...we cried together...watched the futile rescue efforts.

The days following, we all were glued to the TV...I bought magazines, newspapers about the events. It was just surreal.

Today, 10 years later, as the news shows pictures of the remembrance services...clips of 9/11....it seems so long ago...but at the same time...seems like yesterday.

The Souls that were lost that day....May God keep them in the palm of his hand.

For the family of the survivors...May God Bless them and keep them. May his face shine upon them and give them peace !

Life has unexpected twists and turns. Sometimes the twists are exciting and new. However, sometimes the turns are sudden, sharp and painful. Over the last week, I have had a somewhat unexpected turn; A turn I was hoping to not to make, but events outside my control escalated and I made the necessary and proper turn. The ironic thing: If I could have been able to step back and seen the warning signs, the outcome may have been different.

Over the last week, I have moved my youngest son (17 years old) to his mom and step dad's home. It was a difficult decision, but he made the choice by his actions. I just followed thru and said "Enough". It was a difficult and painful week. I love the boy, 100% of the time, but I don't like him very much right now. He's not the son I raised. His behaviour is of a child I don't know. He can be the sweetest and funniest kid, but over the last year, he has been angry, defensive, obstinate, disrespectful and rebellious. I no longer will tolerate the "know it all" attitude...the arrogance, the disrespect for me and the household property.

There's no meeting him half way. He must follow the rules and behave in the way he knows is right and expected of him. I am no perfect parent, but I have been a good dad to him. In fact, maybe a little to good. I have trusted when I shouldn't have trusted. I have been far to lenient and have allowed little supervision when he needed it the most. I should have forced him to stay with his mom on the weekends when I worked, but I didn't force the issue. Therefore, he was left unsupervised and he took advantage of my trust in him. Over time, his behaviour has worstened and the disregard of my household rules and the disrespect for me has escalated.

My ex wife came over on Tuesday and we packed his room. Eight bags of trash accumulated after finishing the clean up. Since, I have begun tearing down the Wallpaper border. I will have to hire someone to patch the 4 holes he punched in the walls over this year. I will have to replace the bedroom door he kicked and put a hole all the way thru. Once the holes are repaired, room painted, carpets cleaned, I will turn the room into a guest room.

My son has been out of the house since Tuesday evening. I am amazed how quiet it is at home. My daughter, who is 20, is still living at home, but she uses the house as headquarters to pop in and out...to shower...sleep...eat....lol. She is very busy and active with friends...all the time. I seem to have all this extra time on my hands. I didn't realize how incapacitated I had become, wondering of his whereabouts and if he was behaving. I am still not quite sure what to do with myself. I am hoping that I will stop procrastinating and start working on some household projects such as painting the kitchen, hallway, bathrooms and 2 bedrooms...I have enough work to keep me busy for a while.

By no means have I given up my parental respsonsibilities. My responsilibity is to keep him in a safe and secure environment. Hence, He has been moved to his mom's home so he can have more supervision. My ex wife doesn't work and she and her husband are home on weekends. I work weekends and work evenings, when supervision was needed.

I do hope and pray that our relationship will heal over time. However, he has to choose to do the right thing. He is a smart and intelligent kid. He knows right from wrong. He has to make a decision to choose "right". I love him more than he will probably ever know.

The Mystery of Relationships

I have determined the connection one feels in a relationship is unexplainable. You know what I mean? The sense of "connectedness". The feeling of belonging to someone and they belonging to you. The "I know that I know, I am in love".

I consider myself a fairly balanced person. I am in touch with my feelings and pretty well can identify what I am feeling at any particular moment. However, trying to determine if I am in love, or even deeply "in like", leaves me confused.

I was in a short lived relationship, which I ended, recently. The guy I was involved with is a wonderful man. He is sweet, considerate, thoughtful, loving, and giving. He is not perfect, but yes, a really good man. He seemingly was in love with me. At least that's what he told me and I really believed him. All his actions seemed to be in line with his words. I should have been swept off my feet, right? ....Wrong !! I really like him as a person. I enjoyed talking with him and spending time with him. I loved him as a person and as a friend, but I discovered, not as a Boyfriend or partner. O, I tried to fall in love with him. I tried to "conjure" up those feelings, but to no avail. I would visualize us as a couple and see how good we were together. I couldn't make sense of why my feelings were not as strong as his. I couldn't rationalize why I wasn't feeling all those wonderful "in love" emotions. I started to think something was wrong with me. I started to believe I had a problem which I needed to discover and address. I just kept thinking, "give it more time".

Over the last week, I really started to get panicky. When he would say he was in love with me, I would get feelings of being overwhelmed. I would get this knot in my stomach. I tried telling myself I was just adjusting to a relationship. Adjusting to my life changing, being I was in the throws of "empty nest". No matter, the feelings of uncertainty were there, and then the feelings of guilt. He was such a good man, deserving the best kind of person and love. I was just unable to provide the love he was so desiring.

On Friday AM, the relationship came to an end. I told him in person at his apartment. I was direct, to the point and as I left I patted him on the shoulder. He wouldn't/couldn't look at me. I could tell he was about to cry. I knew if I stayed, I would end up crying too. It took less than 5 minutes to hurt him, and crush his dreams of a future...with me , at least.

I haven't cried as of yet , but I have had moments of deep sadness. I feel like I have lost a good friend. However, overall, I feel a sense of relief. I have been honest to him and to myself. I don't have to feel like I'm being pressured to feel something I'm not.

It's just odd why I never experienced the connection. Why didn't I feel "in loveness" back? I have no idea. I have been in love before. Only 1 time in my life have I ever been truly and deeply in love. I know I am capable. Do we only get one chance at being truly, madly, deeply in love? Are the chances over and no more opportunity to be in love? Is fate dealing me a hard blow and not bringing someone else into my life? Is it all by chance? Do I need to learn something? Overall, I am content as a single person, but it would be nice to feel being "in love".
Well, We'll live and learn...I hope to keep my eyes open and see what God has in store for me.

Where does the Time Go ? !

It's been over a year since my last post. Amazing ! Where does the time go ? In lots of ways, the year has flown by...in other ways, it seems like a life time ago.

In January, the company in which I work, announced the closing of the Greensboro Customer Service Center. It was an extremely difficult time. I had been with the company a little 12 1/2 years at the time of the announcement. In fact, I received a promotion within my department 2 days prior to the announcement. From the time of the announcement , I knew I had my job. The question was, "Where was I going to have to move?" Everyone in my department agreed that we would be relocated to Phoenix. At the end of the day, the VP of my department, assured us that our jobs were safe, but could not give us any clarity on where we may be located. After a couple of months, it was decided that my department would remain in the Greensboro area and move to a new location. I am very very thankful not to have to move from my family.

"Survivor's Guilt" became an emotion that many of us in our department felt. It was difficult to watch 2000 colleagues transitioning to new locations, positions and even leaving our company. My daughter, Jessica, was impacted. She chose to take the severance package and move on to other opportunities. It's been close to 7 months since the closing announcement and the center is very , very empty and very, very quiet. It's eerily quiet. However, again, I'm very thankful to continue on with my company.

Sometimes in life, things don't happen in the timing we plan or expect. My youngest son, 17, and his girlfriend has blessed our family with a beautiful beautiful grandson on July 5. Landon is his name. He is just precious and I am in love with him. I am looking forward to watching him grow up and develop. I just hope and pray, "we" , the entire family, raise him to be a wonderful young man.

In May, I began dating a wonderful guy. He's perfect in many ways. He seems to be intensely in love with me. What more could any one else ask? Well....to have the same feelings for him....which sadly, I don't. As wonderful and perfect he seems...I don't feel the same towards him. I like him so much, but I am not in love with him. Today, I said goodbye to him. I ended the relationship after 2 1/2 months this morning. It was extremely difficult to do. I could have continued on, trying to conjure up emotions. However, he deserves better. He deserves someone to be madly, crazy in love with him. I'm just not that guy. I hope in time, we can be friends.

I have been attending an Episcopal Church in Greensboro for several months now. It's small and quaint. The people are friendly enough. I'm not really involved....not quite sure how to be much more involved, but we'll see. I enjoy the liturgy and the symbolism.

My son in NYC has had quite the year. His BF of 4 years had to move back to Thailand, in June, being his VISA expired. The boys came down for Father's Day and I rode back up with them to NYC and helped with his transition from being a couple to a single guy again. It was like someone had died the day we took his BF to the airport. We came home and just sat. Finally, I grilled some chicken for us and Elliot took a long nap. The next day, I began throwing out or boxing food in the kitchen that I couldn't understand, being it was written in some Asian Langauage. Elliot has adjusted well and is doing well.

Well...all for now....

Well...Basically, another month has past without a post. It's really hard to find the time to sit down and write.

I really didn't mention in my last post that I am losing weight. Since the beginning of March until today...I have lost 35 lbs...Yay ! I have been eating very healthy....fresh fruit...veggies...grilling chicken and fish.

The kids are great ! Andrew got his License Yesterday...I am no longer car pooling any of the kids :( His mom got a another car and he is now driving her old Ford Focus Wagon...LOL ! It's definitley not a Mustang or Camarro....but it is transportation.

Jessica has decided not to return to college this fall. She plans on taking a year or two off and work and try to decide what she would like to do for the rest of her life.

Elliot is still at his job in NY....Still loving life and NY.

Work is still great....Love working 2nd.

My newest hobby is gardening....LOVE IT....

O My - An Over Due Post !

Well, I haven't posted anything since January, when I was in NY, visiting Elliot. Guess where I am now ?! NY, visiting Elliot. I flew in last Tuesday (March 23), and will fly back home this upcoming Tuesday (March 29).

So far, it's been an absolutely wonderful visit. I have walked on the Beach fore several days now. Not short little walks, but 2 hour walks. I walk the 2 mile boardwalk, then walk back by walking right against the shore. I feel like I could walk forever when walking right beside the waves. I have always found the sounds of the waves lapping against the shore, so relaxing. I have found some really interesting shells....It's still pretty cool here, so there are not many people on the beach picking up seashells. So when walking, I have found some really interesting ones. One of the days I walked, the temperature was a little colder than I was expecting, and there was no one on the beach but me. I was in my own little world. It was like heaven on earth. I just got lost in watching and hearing the waves crash on the shore....looking for shells. Time was no longer an enemy. It just didn't exist.

Elliot has had to work during the days, which has afforded me the opportunity to get in exercise, catch up on my reading, do some grocery shopping and cooking.

On Saturday, we took the dogs and walked the Nautical Mile, here in Freeport. It was quite chilly out. We stopped in at a Fresh Seafood Market on the docks and bought fresh red snapper and squid. It was a wonderful meal that evening. Fresh Fish is truly the best.

On Sunday, we drove toward the city to walk the dogs in Central Park, but as we got closer to the city the rain started falling. Therefore, we laid those plans to rest and drove to Queens to the Asian Market. Elliot's BF Nong shops there all the time. I must say, It's a true field trip when I go to the Asian Market. Fresh Vegetables are everywhere...and Fresh Fish....It's unbelievable the food that is out there that I have never tried. I'm so sheltered...LOL...Anyway...all for now

Jan 2010 - Bad Jeff ! I haven't Posted since OCT !

Happy All Saints' Day....Happy Thanksgiving....Merry Christmas.....Happy New Year !

All of these holidays have occurred since my last post ! Where did the time go ?! My last post was right after I had returned from NY, visiting Elliot and the Grand Dogs. And guess where I am now? Yep...NY....visiting again ! I guess I just don't have much time to blog between my vacations. I get into the routine of life in NC...work...caring for the kids and dogs...and there just isn't enough of me time. However, that's totally OK...I love my time in life with my kids !

So....what's been going on since my last post? Let me think....

Well...while in NY in October, my Leader at work contacted me and advised me that a 2nd shift schedule had come available and wanted to know if I was still interested in moving from 3rd shift to 2nd. For most...it would be an unattractive schedule (working Friday - Monday and off Tues - Thurs), but with Andrew still living at home and in high school and the pay differential for working double day weekends, I decided to go for it. I had been on 3rd shift for over 8 years now. I had finally come to the conclusion that 3rd shift was no longer healthy for me. I have poor eating and exercise habits..and then my sleep schedule is another story. Therefore, I took the opportunity. However, due to staffing issues, it took 2 months for my 2nd shift schedule to take effect. I have only worked 3 days on 2nd and then I went out on vacation...lol...

After getting back from NY in October, I made the decision to stop attending church for a while. It had nothing to do with College Park Church....It's a wonderful church. However, I'm not a believer in being a "Sunday Morning Pew Warmer". I believe being apart of a church is where true Spiritual Growth occurs. Whether on 3rd shift or 2nd shift, I am just unable to be apart of the life of the church. I was frequently invited by folks to come to dinner, go to gatherings, etc...but 95% of the time, I had to decline due to my work schedule. It was so frustrating. Therefore, I have chosen not to attend. I have emailed a few friends there and emailed the pastor. In due time, my schedule will become more "normal" and I can be active in church.

Funny thing...I can't remember much in November until close to Thanksgiving. I have made an attempt to reconcile with a cousin of mine with whom I have been very close until my "coming out" in 2005. Since, this cousin has had nothing to do with me. I contacted this cousin and had a pretty direct conversation. Initially, it seems things are better. I went to this cousin's birthday dinner in November. Close to Christmas I had she, her husband and her mother (my aunt), along with the kids and my parents over for a Christmas Dinner. I am attempting to bring healing between the 2 of us. We may just have to agree to disagree on some life issues. Additionally, we are getting older and I don't want to live life without her. However, I shouldn't have to conform to her thinking for us to be able to love one another and spend time together. Only time will tell.

The latter parts of November and December, I had several small dinner parties with my parents, and some aunts and uncles. My family is getting older and I want to take some opportunities to spend time with them. My mom has 5 siblings still alive. Her oldest brother (my uncle who lives next door to me) is now 85....my mom's oldest sister, Aunt Dot is 84. Uncle Harvey gets around pretty well, but is obviously slowing down. He now walks with a cane most of the time. Aunt Dot we moved into an Assisted Living Home in 2009. Her Parkinson's has worstened and her health has had a marked decline since 2008. Another one of my mom's older Sisters, Elsie, is doing well...However, she has quite a bit of hip and back pain. All of these were apart of the dinners I had. I find that I need to take the opportunities to spend time with the ones I love, before the opportunity is no longer there.

Christmas was nice and quiet. Mom, Dad, Uncle Harvey, Aunt Margaret were over for Christmas Eve Dinner with the kids and I. Beef Burgundy...Broccoli with Cheese and a Coconut Cake was the menu. On Christmas Day, Aunt Dot came over with Mom and Dad. The kids slept in a bit. We had our traditional Christmas Lunch...Afterwards, we opened presents. It was very relaxing.

Elliot , Nong and the 6 Grand Dogs came home on Wed, Dec 30....They were supposed to have arrived on Tueday night the 29th, but his job prevented him from leaving any earlier. It was great to have "MY Family" all together. It was cold and rainy the whole visit. New Year's Eve was laid back....We watched the ole ball drop at Times Square and drank Champagne.

I rode back with Elliot, Nong and the dogs on Saturday, Jan 2. It was freezing cold from NC to NY. When we arrived, Elliot's boiler had broken and there was no heat or hot water...It was 34 degrees in the house. I was ready to head for the nearest hotel ! However, he plugged in some electric heaters and it finally warmed up enough we could stay in the house. I had the bright idea of hanging a blanket between the opening of the dining room and Den and it actually got warm in the Den. YAY ! Sunday was frigid...and it snowed off and on most of the day. The "Boiler Guy" came out and we finally got hot water...but no heat ....bigger issues....but no worries...the electric heaters work fine now.

On Mon & Tuesday, I have hung out around the house...relaxing and catching up on movies....blogging (as you can tell ) and emailing old friends. It's Wednesday and I plan on finish up this blog ! and do some napping and reading.

Any who...More later.

NY - Feeling More Like Home

Over the last couple of years, visiting Elliot, NY is feeling more and more like home. Especially now, since he owns his own home and I am now returning to the same house time and time again.

On this particular trip, I arrived in early afternoon on Wednesday, Oct 14. Elliot was at work and I felt very comfortable taking the AirTrain from JFK over to Jamaica Station; then taking the Long Island RR over to Freeport; then grabbing a cab to the house.

Nong was at home and after settling in for a few minutes, he and I set off walking into Freeport. We got some pizza and came back home. Later in the afternoon, the rain began and basically didn't stop till Sunday. We ate Cozymel's in Westbury. A very good Mexican Restaurant.

On Thursday, Nong went to the city for the day, and I went with Elliot to take a couple of dogs to the vet and then onto his office. While he worked, I read. We had a late lunch, then I went back to the office to read more.

On Friday, I stayed home with Nong. We shopped at Costco and Target. I cooked dinner. I made Elliot's favorites; chicken pie, mac n chesse and Squash Casserole. He loved it. We hung out and watched movies.

On Saturday, we took Dumbledore, Penny and Mugsy for a walk between rain showers. While walking, Jessica calls to tell me that she totalled her car, trying to avoid a deer. UGH! something else to worry about...getting her a car. I must admit...I didn't handle that phone call very well.

Sunday, we sleep late, moved the living room into the dining room and moved the grand piano from the dining room into the living room. It looks great. The Living Room now has more of a DEN feeling...very cozy. In the afternoon later, we went over to visit Amy and Victor in East Rockaway. I was thrilled to know that Amy's mom, Sue, was visiting from Cleveland. I don't care if they are Linda's family, I still like them. Elliot and I took Pizza over and hung there for a couple of hours. After we got home, we hung out with Nong and watched movies.

On Monday, Elliot and Nong went to work, leaving me home for the day. I putzed around in the morning and in the afternoon, walked into the village for a bit. In the evening, Elliot and I ate at a new restaurant in the village. It was good, but overpriced.

On Tuesday, I went to work with Elliot while his VP and he make instructional videos for their customers. I helped them with the videos. It was fun. We got home pretty late. Thank goodness Nong had made dinner.

On Wednesday, Elliot and I went into the city for the day. He had a trade show to go too. I went along for a while and then left and did my own thing. Later in the day, Elliot caught up with me and we went to the MET (Metropolitan Museum of Art). Hands down, it was the best museum I have ever been too. We stayed for a couple of hours, but needed a whole day. We got home fairly early and went to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory.

All of my days were filled playing with the Poms. I love them so much...they are so cute and so well behaved.

I did pretty well coming home on Thursday. No tears....However, after I got home, I got really sad for a bit. Not only did I miss Elliot, Nong and the pups, but I missed NY. I really like it there...It feels like home.....a place I should be.....Sounds crazy....who knows what the future holds

Update on Mugsy

Mugsy came home on Tuesday night. He is heavily medicated for pain and is on antibiotics. Elliot says he is quite out of it. Bless his little heart ! Hold On Mugsy !! Granddad is on his way !! I'll be there by 2 this afternoon !! And you will feel much better.

My Poor Little Grand Dog - Mugsy !

Elliot called last evening, in a panic ! He was holding Mugsy and I could hear my little pup crying in the background. Elliot says that he was just freaking out...He thinks it has something to do with the Bio - Spot that Nong put on him a couple of days prior. Elliot had already taken him to his vet and they had not very much for him and after getting back home, Mugsy had gotton worse. Elliot was in a panic.

I looked up online the side effects of Bio Spot reactions....After realizing many dogs who had allergic responses, died, I called a 24 hour Emergency Vet in his area and got an appt.

Elliot got him there and they put him on IVs and a heavy tranquilizer. Elliot had to leave him for the night and we can't get any information until later today !! UGH ! Hang in their Mugsy ! We love you !

Faith

Over the last few years...I've been through alot...and my faith in God has taken a beating. Hmm...Not sure if my faith in God has taken as much of a beating as my faith in "God's People".



I'm not attempting to sound as if I'm a little angel or that I have done everything perfectly leading up to my separation and divorce. However, "The Church" / "God's People" were less than loving during it all.

The day that I moved out from my ex wife....she had attempted a "sneak attack" and had invited some people over for an "intervention". She laid out her case against me....I had nothing to say. I could have attacked her in front of these so called friends...I had solid evidence of her failures in the marriage...but what good would that have done? In my mind the marriage was already dead....I already had an apartment...It was just a matter of timing. So, I just moved out.

I was judged by people who considered me their best friend , as well as, the church I attended; with people who barely knew me. What was the crime ? Owning up to the truth ! Owning up to the fact, that this marriage had been dead for years and that we were only together for the children ? I will own and take responsibility for the way I ended up moving out...I should have sat the ex wife down and told her 2 months earlier of my intent on ending the marriage. However, I was a coward. I kept dragging out the inevitable. I should have been more of a man and just ended it instead of dragging it out.

However, the "Church / God's People" were silent to me except for a couple of very cold letters telling me how horrible I was....the disappointment I was....I NEVER got a letter or phone call asking me how I was...or are you ok ?

The reaction of "The Church" sent me into a downward spiral on my already faltering faith. As a conservative christian, I was struggling with being Gay and aligning myself to the Bible. I remained out of church for almost 4 years and my relationship with God damaged to the point of almost unbelief.

In 2008, I began attending a Progressive Church which accepts both straight and gay, equally. I am making the right steps...but far from where I would hope to be by now. I, truly, believe in a personal relationship with Jesus. A relationship that is about love, acceptance, worship, obedience. A relationship that causes me to be more like him...a more loving person.

God...Help me put some of this past behind me....Help me trust you....Help me believe that you love me for who I am...because you created me in your image....And you don't make mistakes.

Leaving for NYC on Wednesay, Oct 14

YAY ! I'm excited to be visiting my oldest boy this week....I'm heading to NY on Wednesday Morning. However, alot has to take place before I leave....Grocery Store...Bank...3 more nights at American Express...2 more short shifts at Pier One.....packing....UGH ! I think Wednesday may be a blur ! I may be just exhausted.

I checked the weather for NY....Looks like the days will be low 60's or high 50's...nights in the 40's...but sad to say....seems like a lot of rain while i'm there....

I'm excited to see the granddogs !! I miss that ole Mugsy and Bella....Dumbledore, Orange Juice, and Penny ...

I don't really have a clue what we'll be doing while I'm there...I'm taking a couple of books...my laptop from work (only if I get totally bored)...

I'm hoping I'll get to hang out at the beach some...taking walks....I always get rejuvenated when at the seaside. I'm sure we'll go into the city a few times...as well.

I'm just happy to be there, visiting my son !

God Bless The USA

God Bless The USA

by Lee Greenwood

*****

If tomorrow all the things were gone, I’d worked for all my life. And I had to start again, with just my children and my wife.

*****

I’d thank my lucky stars, to be livin here today. ‘Cause the flag still stands for freedom, and they can’t take that away.

*****

And I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m free. And I wont forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.

*****

And I gladly stand up, next to you and defend her still today. ‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land, God bless the USA.

*****

From the lakes of Minnesota, to the hills of Tennessee. Across the plains of Texas, From sea to shining sea.

*****

From Detroit down to Houston, and New York to L.A. Well there's pride in every American heart,and its time we stand and say.

*****

That I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m free. And I wont forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.

*****

And I gladly stand up,next to you and defend her still today. ‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land, God bless the USA.

*****

And I’m proud to be and American, where at least I know I’m free. And I wont forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.

*****

And I gladly stand up, next to you and defend her still today. ‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land, God bless the USA.

"There is no remedy for love but to love more."

Henry David Thoreau

*****

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."

Aristotle

*****

What a beautiful mess, what a beautiful mess I'm in spending all my time with you There's nothing else I'd rather do. What a sweet addiction that I'm caught up in, cause I can't get enough Can't stop the hunger for your love. What a beautiful mess, what a beautiful mess I'm in.

(Chorus: Beautiful Mess) Diamond Rio

Fall 2009

So Far, Fall 2009 has been absolutely beautiful. The Corn Fields behind my house have been picked and mowed. The Dogs and I have been walking the perimeter everyday...enjoying the fresh, crisp air, and light breeze. I have noticed that the fruit trees are heavy with fruit. My aging Uncle, next door says that it is a sign of a hard winter. The Persimmon Tree, Pecan Trees, Apple Tree, all are loaded with fruit; to the point that the limbs are straining to not break.

I have so enjoyed sitting on the deck in the mornings, drinking hot tea and reading...lol..and dozing...

I leave for NYC on Wednesday, Oct 14, to visit my eldest son for about 9 days. I've been keeping track of the weather and it looks like it will be very nice for my visit...Highs around 60 and lows in the 40's. I'm looking forward to a couple of days on the beach...reading...and napping.

Fall 2009 (Sept 30, Oct 1 - 3 )

Wow....What beautiful weather we are having here in NC. The days are in the high 60's /low 70's and the nights are in the mid 50's. Absolutely perfect temps. The windows are open...and fresh air is pouring into the house.

Hands down, Fall is my most favorite season. The Crisp Air, the bright blue sky, the trees so filled with color....How can anyone doubt the existence of GOD. Only the Almighty himself could be this artistic and creative. Thank You...Thank You GOD for such beauty and splendor.

I must say, I have enjoyed the last days off as much as any days in recent YEARS....I, actually, had my normal 3 days off from American Express and at the same time, 2 of the days, I was off at my part time job at Pier One, as well.

On Thursday, I washed windows and did some very thorough deep cleaning in my family room, kitchen and bedroom. It felt so good to have it done. The house looks quite nice at the moment...LOL...The Children haven't had time to mess it up yet ! On Friday, I did Laundry, and made Lasagna for the kids and Rodney. Ah...the mention of another man !! Hmmm! Who is Rodney ?! I'm not telling, yet ! I can say he is a very, very good friend...lol...My current "Man-Friend ! I'll leave it there for the moment.

We had dinner on the deck...It was quite enjoyable..I really like having the family time with the kids and having Rodney there. Rodney, Jessica and I went to see a movie...."The Invention of Lying"....The critics give it a "B" rating. I think a "C" is more accurate. It just didn't do all that for me.

On Saturday, I took Andrew to a wrestling tournament at his high school...His mom and her husband, Mike came, as well. I sat for 3 1/2 hours waiting for Andrew to wrestle...Finally, I left at noon. Mike texted me at 2 to let me know that he just wrestled the first time. After getting home, shortly after noon, I took the dogs for a walk in the freshly mowed field....came back and sat on the deck and read for a while....I'm reading a really good book...."The Six Wives of Henry VIII" by Alison Weir. It's very well written and I get lost in reading. Rodney stopped by at 2:30 and asked if I would ride to Raleigh with him for a bit. I was happy he invited me and I accepted the invitation. We had a really nice afternoon. I got home around 6:45...jumped in bed...surrounded by the "pups" and napped till time to come to work.

It was just nice to have a couple of days off and not think of work...just work around the house...cook...find time to read..nap and spend time with the family and people you love....Doesn't get much better than this !

Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns. George Eliot

"I cannot endure to waste anything as precious as autumn sunshine by staying in the house. So I spend almost all the daylight hours in the open air.- Nathaniel Hawthorne

TED KENNEDY

A very good pictoral of his life by the Boston Globe....

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2009/08/senator_ted_kennedy_19322009.html

Where Did the Time Go ! Mid-July, August, September

I cannot believe that October is just next week. Where has 2009 gone ? I think because it's been such a busy year, it's made the time go by even faster.....Therefore, I'm going to try to update what's been going on over the last months:

July

July was a busy month, but a good month. Andrew was in Cleveland for most of the month. He left in late June to spend about 5 weeks with his granparents and friends there. He came home on Wednesday, July 22, and we left Thursday, July 23, for NYC to visit Elliot.

Jessica spent 10 days in Cleveland in July and seemed to have a good time, but was definitely ready to come home. She likes her life here.

My schedule at American Express changed on July 6, after the layoffs kicked in. I started a new schedule, giving me Wed, Thur., and Fridays off. It's nice to have one weekend day off, but it has been a difficult adjustment. I'm just thankful I have a job.

Jessica, Andrew and I left for NYC to visit Elliot and Nong on Thursday night, July 23. It was a long drive...but a good drive. Jessica drove most of the way. I didn't drive until we got into New Jersey. It was nice to share the driving with someone.

It was so cute watching Andrew's face as we crossed from New Jersey into NYC. He was wide awake and excited to see all the tall buildings. Jessica, too, was bright eyed, even though she had been to NYC once before. We got out to Freeport on Long Island and unloaded the car and went to bed , while Elliot headed to work. The kids and I got up around 1 and decided to go get a bite to eat at the local diner. As we were heading over, Elliot texted to say he was joining us....What a nice surprise ! His boss sent him home for rest of the week, being Elliot had us in town. How nice of him ! I have no way of remembering everything we did while we were there, but I can hit the highlights: we went to the beach most every evening to walk and talk as a family. I was in heaven, having my whole family together. During our stay, we went into the City about 3 or 4 times. It was way fun...and expensive. In the city, we rode the Staten Island Ferry, rode the subways up and down the city, saw Temple Emanuel, St. Patrick's Cathedral, shopped in China Town, saw a movie in Chelsea, spent time in Central Park, people watching ! I still think my best times of the whole trip, were when we were together as a family at the beach.

Another highlight of the trip, was visiting Victor, Amy, Savannah, Sue and the new baby. We all went to visit Amy, Victor, Savannah and "Grammy Sue", before the baby was born. We had such a nice evening, chatting and catching up. It's so nice to still be close to a few of Linda's relatives...I spent so many years with them, I just can't turn off my feelings of family toward them. Likewise, they have been close to me, as well, and very welcoming.

JULY NEWS: Walter Cronkite of the CBS Evening News died on July 17. He was the TV Anchorman I grew up with...."And that's the way it is"...was the famous line I heard every night when he finished his newscast.

AUG

August began with us in NYC. We came home on the Aug 5. We stayed a couple of extra days so we could visit with Cousin Sue's other daughter, Cathy. She was driving in from Cleveland to visit Amy and the new baby. I hadn't seen Cathy in about 5 years....way to long...so it was a thrill to stay a couple of extra days to visit.

When we left, I drove us into New Jersey, where Andrew took up driving...the first time he had driven in 2 weeks...No way was I letting him drive around NY...way to crazy. Anyway, Andrew drove from New Jersey till the lower part of DC, until Andrew almost bought us a bumper off a BMW...That's when Jessica took up driving the rest of the way.

After getting home, the countdown was on for Jessica to move on Campus at UNC G. It was not nearly as traumatic as I had imagined. Alot of it has had to do with Jessica coming home frequently. She pops in around 3 - 4 times a week. LOL....Not sure why, but I'm not going to complain.

Andrew has started 10th Grade and seems a little more serious about studying this year. He is quite aware, there will be no driver's license and no talk of a car if his grades are unacceptable.

In addition to all the children's lives being busy, I met someone towards the middle of August. A very attractive and sweet man. He could be seeing anyone, but for some reason, he is interested in seeing me. I must admit, I am insecure because he is so attractive, but he has such a sweet personality.

AUG NEWS: As far as I'm concerned, the big news of August was the death of Senator Ted Kennedy on Aug 25. I was glued to the TV in the days following...watching history before me...It was just incredible the amount of people who loved and respected him. His funeral was just incredible...not only was it regal, but a true tribute to him as a man, husband, father, grandfather, brother, uncle, friend, senator and Christian. I was so moved to hear his children pay tribute to their father. I have to say in all honesty, I never had that type of relationship with my dad, and can't imagine paying that kind of tribute.

Princess Diana died 12 years ago on Aug 31. It seems like yesterday.

SEPT

The kids are well. Jessica and Andrew have settled into their routines at school. Elliot's job continues to keep him busy. I've decided to take a trip to NYC to see him in Oct. I'm going up mid-month and staying for about a week. Got my tickets with the ole reliable Jetblue.

Andrew has settled into his Wrestling practices and really seems to like it. Jessica has a BF. Kaleb is his name. He's a cutie...very nice young man.

My guy and I are still seeing one another. We really have a great friendship. However, there are some things occurring which are giving me concern, which will not be discussed here....just yet !! :) . We have been enjoying going out weekly on our 'dates'...consisting usually of dinner and a movie. I'm really having to guard my heart..I know I could fall for him.

Also, I was put oncall for the first time for the software that I support at my office.....It was a months rotation....It really wasn't to bad. It could have been much worse.

SEPT NEWS:

William Hoffman, An American Novelist, died Sept 12. He had done a reading at my old church, Christ Church, years ago. I was a big fan of his work and have several of his works.

Patrick Swayze died on Sept 14. He was best known for playing in 'Dirty Dancin'. I was quite impressed he had been married 34 years to his high school sweetheart. He died of Pancreatic Cancer. The same horrible cancer that took my Aunt Katy.

Also, Sept 11, 2009 was 8 years after the World Trade Center, Pentagon, and Pennsylvania field tragedy...Still unbelievable. As I watched the news, reliving that day, all the emotions still come to the surface. It was an unbelievable time in our country's history.

What a Week !

What a busy week ! I transitioned into my new schedule, which meant working 6 days straight, 10 hours a day. Fortunately, Tuesday night ( which is now my Friday), there was enough staff here that I could leave early and get a head start on my sleep. For some odd reason, I woke up after about 5 hours asleep at 9 AM. I knew my mom and my cousin, Kaye, were going to my Aunt Dot's home, to start packing it up and being I had the day free, I decided to help. I'm hoping by helping pack up Aunt Dot's house, I will be able to have a sense of closure to this part of her life and embrace the new phase of her life in an assisted living facility.

I get to her house around 10 AM ; mom is already there and Kaye arrives shortly after. I don't think any of us really wanted to start going through her belongings and begin discarding trash, setting aside things we wanted to keep or give to family, or set aside for the yard sale we are having in the fall. Finally, we went into the Living Room and began packing up the items that Aunt Dot and mom had picked out for specific family members. Most of the items were cut glass candy dishes (very very nice, I might add) or figurienes. All of them had a post-it note under or inside them, to let us know what item was to go to whom. We carefully wrapped each item, and most went into my car to take to the relatives out at the farm. After packing up the living room, we went back to the guest bedroom and started going thru the Lane Trunk that Aunt Dot is giving Jessica. Most every thing inside was related to knitting, but at the bottom, we found a treasure. We discovered 3 very old quilts. Kaye and I called mom back to the room and when she saw them, she recognized them as her mother's (my grandmother's) quilts. There was one for each of us....but in the end, Kaye and mom decided to leave theirs in the trunk and give them to Jessica, as well. I was so touched.

Aunt Dot has already given Jessica her 2 Wing Backed Chairs in her living room, because Jessica has always loved them since she was just a little girl. They will have to be recovered, but they have good "bones". She, also, has given Jessica 2 pretty Milk Glass containers that used to sit on her dresser. Aunt Dot has already given me her Bedroom set. It is absolutely beautiful... Solid Mahogany, 4 Post Bed, with a beautiful solid Mahogany Dresser and Mirror.

After all the packing and grabbing lunch with my cousin, Kaye and my mom, I went and visited Aunt Dot at the Assisted Living Facility. She has a bright room. She shares a room with another lady. She has a nicer TV than me. It's a large flat panel TV in the corner. Work it Aunt Dot ! We had a nice chat. She mentioned how she had such a small room and a big empty house and how she should just go back home. I tried to rationalize with her, but I found it to be more important to let her vent and talk about how she was feeling. I can't even fathom what is really going on in her head....She's lived 55 years and almost a month in the same home...and now she's been uprooted and moved into a strange facility, even though they have done their very best to make it look as "homey" as possible.

Later, My Mom and I went to see the movie, THE PROPOSAL. It was outstandingly funny ! I laughed through the whole movie !! Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds were outstanding.

Afterwards, I needed to drive home and deliver the things that Aunt Dot wanted the family to have. I dropped mom at home, and cried all the way to the farm. I just think the stress from packing Aunt Dot's house had to be released....Packing up someone's belongings of 55 years is just so sad to me. I delivered a fine china set to Uncle Fred and Aunt Helen for my cousin, Pam. I gave Aunt Helen a candy dish that Aunt Dot had picked out for her. Afterwards, I stopped at Uncle Harvey and Aunt Margaret's house and delivered their Candy Dish. It was a long, emotional day.

On Friday, we worked at Aunt Dot's house further. We cleaned out books upon books. We categorized the books in the 3 categories; religious, fiction and cookbooks. I chose a couple of old cookbooks of Aunt Dot's. One was published in 1943....called "MODERN DAY COOKING". I got such a kick out of it. We discovered Aunt Dot's old Bible...given to her in 1946...and found my great Aunt Lou's Bible from 1943. I am thrilled to keep them in the family.

We were exhausted by the end of the day. I couldn't believe how much trash we could dispose. I think Aunt Dot saved every Christmas and Birthday card she ever received ! LOL ! We threw away empty boxes of boxes.

In the evening, I had a friend for dinner....and we watched SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE. It was a very good movie.

Jessica comes home Sunday Afternoon !! Finally !!! 10 days without my Baby girl !! Andrew is still hanging out in Cleveland until July 22.

Elliot has bought a Grand Piano...He's spending alot of time refurbishing it....The Pictures look great ! However, it appears to take up most of the Dining Room. I can't wait to hear him play again.

In 2 weeks we will have already been in NY for a day. I can't wait to see the boy. It will be great to have the whole family together for 2 weeks. I just can't wait !!