A Significant Other? Is It Necessary?

I'm a single man....who happens to be divorced and admittedly gay. I'm the father of 3 wonderful kids. I have a full and part time job. I'm redecorating / remodeling a house. My life is full...very full. However, every now and then I feel lonely....desiring a "significant" other. I've been exploring those feelings lately. Am I desiring just sex? Well....that wouldn't hurt !! But....it's a deeper feeling. I have a good life....A very good life...but there seems to be something within me desiring someone to share this life . Am I in a culture stressing the importance of a significant other? Am I being led to believe I can't have a full and meaningful life as a single man?

I'm not going against the flow and choosing to be single the rest of my life. However, I'm not on the prowl either...searching every online dating service....bar...or other venues....looking for a man. I'm not that lonely....and besides, I'm way to busy with my family.

I've been single 3 years now....I've dated a few men. Most men I'm discovering feel like a date consists of dinner, movie and sex. Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge advocate of sex....less anyone thinks I'm a prude....However, a 1st, 2nd or 3rd date is not a license to make the move for sex. What has happened to developing a friendship....giving the friendship the time to blossom into something special and significant ? I'm discovering we (gay men) jump from the meeting to the bedroom...then get dissillusioned, move on to the next available man...leaving a wake of men who are increasingly insecure with themselves. Don't any of us believe in "treating others as we, ourselves, would like to be treated"?

I'm discovering men in the 30's / 40's are usually categorized in 3 ways;

1. Taken ( I'm discovering I'm a rare breed of gay men who believe if you are taken that means you are off limits. I'm amazed how many men will cheat. )

2. Damaged (A high number of single men in my age category seem to have a lot of emotional baggage from previous relationships and are emotional cripples...unable to enjoy a healthy relationship.

3. Selfish (Another group of men are the ones who have been single way to long...This manis stuck in a rut and expects everyone to bend to their wants...needs...schedules. This man is the type who does not understand or chooses not to understand the necessity of the "give and takes" in a healthy relationship. This man usually just wants sex...nothing more).

I do believe there is a fourth man, but he's an endangered species. He's a single....working....man...who enjoys life....giving back to the community and not just wrapped up totally into his own little kingdom. He's emotional available and ready for a relationship...but waiting for the right friendship to come along to blossom into something meaningful and significant. However, as he waits for that friendship/relationship...he continues on with an already meaningful life.