How do I describe Christmas 2008 ? It was low key...but very busy. I didn't take any vacation time off the entire week. Between American Express and Pier One, I will have worked 65 hours before the week is up. However, with that being said....Christmas was nice.
Christmas Eve, we (my parents, the kids and I) went to church at College Park Church on Aycock Ave, where I have been attending. It was beautiful. It was really crowded. The celebration of Jesus' birth at the church was beautiful...the choir...the pipe organ...the scripture reading.
Afterwards, we went home and had our traditional Christmas Eve Soup Dinner. My Uncle Harvey and Aunt Margaret came over for dinner. It was a good night. It was relaxed...and we sat and chatted for hours.
Christmas Day was spent at my parents for lunch. I was really tired from being up late Christmas Eve , wrapping presents. We had my Aunt Dot (my mom's oldest sister) for lunch. I wonder if she will be with us next Christmas - The Parkinson's Disease is progressing and she is becoming weaker. Just this past week, she fell and laid in the floor the entire night. She should have used the Lifeline (a necklace around her neck to make an emergency contact).....but she didn't want to bother any one !!! OMG !! When Mom and Dad got the call and got to her house...her body was so "frozen", they couldn't get her up...and had to call 911 -
I had to work at American Express that night. It was definitely anticlimatic ! It could have been worst..but it wasn't a bad night at work. Thank goodness, I enjoy my job.
NOTE: My oldest son was not home for Christmas this year ! He stayed in NYC with his BF. He's been appropriately warned that he WILL be home next Christmas !
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Eulogy of Barry Shoemaker
Barry Shoemaker's Memorial Service was Saturday, Dec 20. I had the privilige of being given a copy of Michael Usey's Eulogy of Barry. Michael Usey has such a great way in expressing himself.
Where is the Glamour Now?
A Memoir of Barry Ellis Shoemaker
20 December 2008
A couple of weeks ago in a sermon right before Thanksgiving, I talked about the first funeral I did in 1985 in Texas. Before the service, one of my colleagues gave me some good advice, great advice then, now shown to be very wise now. He said, just remember three things, you are there to give thanks for his life, to tell him goodbye, and to commend him to God. We are here to give thanks for his life, I thought, how strange. The boy we were burying was dead at 17 and we are here to give thanks for his life, not to argue that it should have been longer, or easier, or different in any number of ways. Just to give thanks for what there was of it, to be glad we knew him and to say a blessing over as much life as he had before commending him to God.
So that is what I did that cold winter day, laying that young man’s body to rest, and once we did everything changed, at least for me. I have searched for adequate words to describe what changed and have failed, but it had something to do with trusting God to be God and to run the world. I gave up my notions of the way life ought to be and recognized the obvious: that people do die, sooner or later, for all sorts of reasons, but they never die to the love of God, and that in between the cracks of that great truth there are a thousand reasons to say thank you to God and to one another, for the gift of every moment of life and love in this world and the next. Annie Dillard says it better in her Pulitzer Prize-wining book Pilgrim at Tinker Creek. “I think that the dying pray at the last not ‘please’ but ‘thank you,’” she writes, “as a guest thanks his host at the door. Falling from airplanes the people are crying thank you, thank you, all down the air …”
It is with that same attitude of thankfulness I come this morning to our mourning of Barry Shoemaker. At the committal service this past Wednesday, one of Barry’s close friends, Lloyd, shared that when Barry had finished putting up a hot window treatment, and they were both standing at the bottom of the ladder, Barry would commonly remark, “Where’s the glamour now?” It’s a great story, very Barry, and I’ve been asking God that question all week. I have this strong feeling that Barry is decorating the hell out of heaven, which helps when I miss him so.
This past week one of our long time members said to me about Barry, “You know, before Barry was deacon chair, I thought of the church as them and us, but I can’t do that now. With Barry the church is one WE, united. You couldn’t know him and miss that his unconditional acceptance extended to everyone he knew.” It’s true: Barry was our deacon chair and under his leadership the church grew and thrived. He had a vision for the way College Park could be more of what God was calling us to be, and his care for people helped bring that vision to fruition. Tony told me about a woman at Outdoor Advertising who had an abusive doctor dad, and had live through two failed marriages with abusive men. She told Tony not so long ago: “Barry was the first man that ever made me feel loved.” Barry had that ability. And, as Alan reminded me, Barry was probably happiest last January first, when his term was over and he was no longer deacon chair.
Probably Barry’s best quality was that he was generous. Never flashy in his generosity, Barry could see a need and meet it without a need to be noticed. Alan told me of a young boy in his classroom a couple of years ago who came to school with dirty and moldy clothes. Naturally the other kids made fun of him. Alan told Barry about the boy, and Barry bought the boy $200 worth of clothes at Wal-Mart, which will buy a lot of clothes. (Actually, that’s a moment I wish I could have seen, Barry shopping at Wal-Mart). Alan kept the clothes at school, and had the boy change in the restroom when his clothes were dirty or moldy. By the end of the year, Alan still had clothes left over, which he bundled up and sent home with the boy. Barry saw a need and met it. I would frequently come into the building, only to notice a new planter, or piece of furniture, or cool piece of art, that Barry had found, bought, and donated.
His brother, Tony, remembers a time in which he helped out one of his secretaries. This woman’s husband was a manager of a restaurant, and he dreamt of opening up his own someday. Barry gave them the money for the down payment, and helped them design the restaurant too. Barry was there for opening day, putting fresh flowers on every table. I can’t tell you how many of these kind of stories I’ve heard about him in the past week. And the great thing is that the way Barry gave enabled people to accomplish their dreams. His giving enabled them to live the life they dreamed about, as in the time Barry paid for Alan’s teaching certification at Greensboro College. I know many of you have similar stories.
It’s fair to say that Barry raised Tony, and they both saved the other one’s life. Tony’s earliest memory of his life is Barry wiping Tony’s nose after he had been slugged. Tony remembers being 4 or 5 years old, being in Sunday school at a near-by church, without remembering how he got there. Barry had gotten him up and dressed and put him on the church bus. Their parents both worked two jobs, so it was often up to Barry to see to Tony’s needs. Tony remembers that Barry dressed Tony up in outlandish outfits, when he was small. Tony recalls waddling around the house with his father’s underwear pinned to him, more of Barry’s playfulness and mischievous nature. It wasn’t uncommon for Tony to accidentally call Barry Mom or Dad. One of Tony’s favorite pictures says it all, when they were both younger: Tony is in front; Barry is behind him with his arms around his younger brother. There was always, always such great love between these two brothers.
You know the facts about Barry’s life: born in Lenoir in 1964, he had a rough childhood. Barry skipped 11th grade and was out on his own when he was 17. He learned design from his classes at Western Piedmont CC, but most of his thoughts about beauty and comfort came from within him. He moved to Raleigh where he got his realtor’s license and flipped houses. Barry was about 20 at the time, and his business partner was 50. He showed Barry the business, but he also used Barry as a front for his fraudulent activity. When his partner was arrested on charges the police, realizing Barry was innocent, wanted him to testify against his former business partner, who had threatened Barry horribly. He said if Barry testified against him, he’s serve Barry’s mother’s head to him on a platter, and kill Tony too. Despite these threats, Barry did testify against him, and the man was convicted on fraud charges. Barry moved back to Lenior by this time, and so giving his testimony involved traveling back and forth to Raleigh. This whole incident reveals perhaps one of Barry’s less obvious qualities: his courage. Those of us who have been around him the past year have seen it clearly in the way he faced brain cancer. Barry was brave.
Back in Lenoir Barry went to work for Outdoor Advertising, where he became a sales manager and tripled sales. Nevertheless, his boss, listening to rumor, made Barry train his own replacement, then fired Barry. Tony said it was a difficult night from them both, as he sat up with Barry while he cried. And of course it worked out for the best, since he ended up making much more money on his own.
When Tony went away to App. State, Barry found him an apartment near campus, which of course he furnished and designed. After a while Tony met his new neighbors, a gay couple, and Tony noticed some similarities between the men and Barry. So one day he asked Barry on the phone, “Are you gay? Cause if you are, I want you to know that I love you.” Barry didn’t know what to say back. Tony had said to his best high school friend, “You know, I think Barry’s gay.” To which his friend responded, “Well, duh.” Why didn’t you tell me, Tony said; I thought you knew the friend yelled back.
Barry never understood why his sexual orientation was an issue to any one else, nor did he hate those who hated gays—he simply didn’t have any hate in him, I believe. After all, he would say, I’m only gay 15 minutes a week. His mother believed he was gay because she allowed him to do the housework. Both his parents were motorcycle riders, part of a gang of riders, black leather and all, which pretty much shoots down the theory of environmental causes of homosexuality. As his pastor and friend, I considered his gayness a part of his giftedness from God, woven into the fabric of who Barry was, how he could some easily deeply empathize with the outsider and those who were rejected, and his love for creating beauty wherever he went.
I love the spaces that Barry created. I think the phrase simply elegant described his style best. Never overcrowded, the places and spaces he designed were made to make people feel comfortable, not to draw attention to the designer. Some designers use a variation on the same themes over and over again, like dolphins, because the designer likes dolphins. But Barry listened to his clients; he heard what was important to them, and designed from there. His style was French Country, relaxed, warm colors, with subtle refinements that were not always noticeable quickly. His ability to listen was one of his best character traits and it sprung from his humility. With Barry it was never “me first.”
Which is the reason I chose the proverb on the cover of the bulletin: “The human spirit is the candle of God.” It’s the verse over the children’s portion of the holocaust museum in Jerusalem, commemorating the 1.5 million children who died in it. As you might know, Barry designed our youth room here, had it painted to his idea, and added this phrase to the room: We can’t all be stars, but we can all twinkle.” Realizing his time was short, this became our Advent theme this year, as you might notice the twinkling stars around. Which is what Barry did, twinkle with the light of God, glow with the candle of God’s spirit within him. The last three years for him were filled with up and downs: his beloved mother’s death; a very long and difficult IRS audit; a wonderful spread in the June 07 Southern Living; homes bought and sold here in Greensboro and elsewhere; then starting a wonderful job at Old Hickory Tannery. It was a future filled with excitement, beauty, and promise—which all came to halt with the diagnosis of brain cancer in January of this year. He lived longer than the 6 months they gave him in February, and he worked hard most of the time, and fought the good fight. And so where is the glamour now? Not with us I’m afraid, but with God. The glow from his candle brightens us still, and so on this day before the winter solistis, the day winter starts to move towards summer and the days get longer and brighter, we say, “Thank you, thank you, thank you …”
Where is the Glamour Now?
A Memoir of Barry Ellis Shoemaker
20 December 2008
A couple of weeks ago in a sermon right before Thanksgiving, I talked about the first funeral I did in 1985 in Texas. Before the service, one of my colleagues gave me some good advice, great advice then, now shown to be very wise now. He said, just remember three things, you are there to give thanks for his life, to tell him goodbye, and to commend him to God. We are here to give thanks for his life, I thought, how strange. The boy we were burying was dead at 17 and we are here to give thanks for his life, not to argue that it should have been longer, or easier, or different in any number of ways. Just to give thanks for what there was of it, to be glad we knew him and to say a blessing over as much life as he had before commending him to God.
So that is what I did that cold winter day, laying that young man’s body to rest, and once we did everything changed, at least for me. I have searched for adequate words to describe what changed and have failed, but it had something to do with trusting God to be God and to run the world. I gave up my notions of the way life ought to be and recognized the obvious: that people do die, sooner or later, for all sorts of reasons, but they never die to the love of God, and that in between the cracks of that great truth there are a thousand reasons to say thank you to God and to one another, for the gift of every moment of life and love in this world and the next. Annie Dillard says it better in her Pulitzer Prize-wining book Pilgrim at Tinker Creek. “I think that the dying pray at the last not ‘please’ but ‘thank you,’” she writes, “as a guest thanks his host at the door. Falling from airplanes the people are crying thank you, thank you, all down the air …”
It is with that same attitude of thankfulness I come this morning to our mourning of Barry Shoemaker. At the committal service this past Wednesday, one of Barry’s close friends, Lloyd, shared that when Barry had finished putting up a hot window treatment, and they were both standing at the bottom of the ladder, Barry would commonly remark, “Where’s the glamour now?” It’s a great story, very Barry, and I’ve been asking God that question all week. I have this strong feeling that Barry is decorating the hell out of heaven, which helps when I miss him so.
This past week one of our long time members said to me about Barry, “You know, before Barry was deacon chair, I thought of the church as them and us, but I can’t do that now. With Barry the church is one WE, united. You couldn’t know him and miss that his unconditional acceptance extended to everyone he knew.” It’s true: Barry was our deacon chair and under his leadership the church grew and thrived. He had a vision for the way College Park could be more of what God was calling us to be, and his care for people helped bring that vision to fruition. Tony told me about a woman at Outdoor Advertising who had an abusive doctor dad, and had live through two failed marriages with abusive men. She told Tony not so long ago: “Barry was the first man that ever made me feel loved.” Barry had that ability. And, as Alan reminded me, Barry was probably happiest last January first, when his term was over and he was no longer deacon chair.
Probably Barry’s best quality was that he was generous. Never flashy in his generosity, Barry could see a need and meet it without a need to be noticed. Alan told me of a young boy in his classroom a couple of years ago who came to school with dirty and moldy clothes. Naturally the other kids made fun of him. Alan told Barry about the boy, and Barry bought the boy $200 worth of clothes at Wal-Mart, which will buy a lot of clothes. (Actually, that’s a moment I wish I could have seen, Barry shopping at Wal-Mart). Alan kept the clothes at school, and had the boy change in the restroom when his clothes were dirty or moldy. By the end of the year, Alan still had clothes left over, which he bundled up and sent home with the boy. Barry saw a need and met it. I would frequently come into the building, only to notice a new planter, or piece of furniture, or cool piece of art, that Barry had found, bought, and donated.
His brother, Tony, remembers a time in which he helped out one of his secretaries. This woman’s husband was a manager of a restaurant, and he dreamt of opening up his own someday. Barry gave them the money for the down payment, and helped them design the restaurant too. Barry was there for opening day, putting fresh flowers on every table. I can’t tell you how many of these kind of stories I’ve heard about him in the past week. And the great thing is that the way Barry gave enabled people to accomplish their dreams. His giving enabled them to live the life they dreamed about, as in the time Barry paid for Alan’s teaching certification at Greensboro College. I know many of you have similar stories.
It’s fair to say that Barry raised Tony, and they both saved the other one’s life. Tony’s earliest memory of his life is Barry wiping Tony’s nose after he had been slugged. Tony remembers being 4 or 5 years old, being in Sunday school at a near-by church, without remembering how he got there. Barry had gotten him up and dressed and put him on the church bus. Their parents both worked two jobs, so it was often up to Barry to see to Tony’s needs. Tony remembers that Barry dressed Tony up in outlandish outfits, when he was small. Tony recalls waddling around the house with his father’s underwear pinned to him, more of Barry’s playfulness and mischievous nature. It wasn’t uncommon for Tony to accidentally call Barry Mom or Dad. One of Tony’s favorite pictures says it all, when they were both younger: Tony is in front; Barry is behind him with his arms around his younger brother. There was always, always such great love between these two brothers.
You know the facts about Barry’s life: born in Lenoir in 1964, he had a rough childhood. Barry skipped 11th grade and was out on his own when he was 17. He learned design from his classes at Western Piedmont CC, but most of his thoughts about beauty and comfort came from within him. He moved to Raleigh where he got his realtor’s license and flipped houses. Barry was about 20 at the time, and his business partner was 50. He showed Barry the business, but he also used Barry as a front for his fraudulent activity. When his partner was arrested on charges the police, realizing Barry was innocent, wanted him to testify against his former business partner, who had threatened Barry horribly. He said if Barry testified against him, he’s serve Barry’s mother’s head to him on a platter, and kill Tony too. Despite these threats, Barry did testify against him, and the man was convicted on fraud charges. Barry moved back to Lenior by this time, and so giving his testimony involved traveling back and forth to Raleigh. This whole incident reveals perhaps one of Barry’s less obvious qualities: his courage. Those of us who have been around him the past year have seen it clearly in the way he faced brain cancer. Barry was brave.
Back in Lenoir Barry went to work for Outdoor Advertising, where he became a sales manager and tripled sales. Nevertheless, his boss, listening to rumor, made Barry train his own replacement, then fired Barry. Tony said it was a difficult night from them both, as he sat up with Barry while he cried. And of course it worked out for the best, since he ended up making much more money on his own.
When Tony went away to App. State, Barry found him an apartment near campus, which of course he furnished and designed. After a while Tony met his new neighbors, a gay couple, and Tony noticed some similarities between the men and Barry. So one day he asked Barry on the phone, “Are you gay? Cause if you are, I want you to know that I love you.” Barry didn’t know what to say back. Tony had said to his best high school friend, “You know, I think Barry’s gay.” To which his friend responded, “Well, duh.” Why didn’t you tell me, Tony said; I thought you knew the friend yelled back.
Barry never understood why his sexual orientation was an issue to any one else, nor did he hate those who hated gays—he simply didn’t have any hate in him, I believe. After all, he would say, I’m only gay 15 minutes a week. His mother believed he was gay because she allowed him to do the housework. Both his parents were motorcycle riders, part of a gang of riders, black leather and all, which pretty much shoots down the theory of environmental causes of homosexuality. As his pastor and friend, I considered his gayness a part of his giftedness from God, woven into the fabric of who Barry was, how he could some easily deeply empathize with the outsider and those who were rejected, and his love for creating beauty wherever he went.
I love the spaces that Barry created. I think the phrase simply elegant described his style best. Never overcrowded, the places and spaces he designed were made to make people feel comfortable, not to draw attention to the designer. Some designers use a variation on the same themes over and over again, like dolphins, because the designer likes dolphins. But Barry listened to his clients; he heard what was important to them, and designed from there. His style was French Country, relaxed, warm colors, with subtle refinements that were not always noticeable quickly. His ability to listen was one of his best character traits and it sprung from his humility. With Barry it was never “me first.”
Which is the reason I chose the proverb on the cover of the bulletin: “The human spirit is the candle of God.” It’s the verse over the children’s portion of the holocaust museum in Jerusalem, commemorating the 1.5 million children who died in it. As you might know, Barry designed our youth room here, had it painted to his idea, and added this phrase to the room: We can’t all be stars, but we can all twinkle.” Realizing his time was short, this became our Advent theme this year, as you might notice the twinkling stars around. Which is what Barry did, twinkle with the light of God, glow with the candle of God’s spirit within him. The last three years for him were filled with up and downs: his beloved mother’s death; a very long and difficult IRS audit; a wonderful spread in the June 07 Southern Living; homes bought and sold here in Greensboro and elsewhere; then starting a wonderful job at Old Hickory Tannery. It was a future filled with excitement, beauty, and promise—which all came to halt with the diagnosis of brain cancer in January of this year. He lived longer than the 6 months they gave him in February, and he worked hard most of the time, and fought the good fight. And so where is the glamour now? Not with us I’m afraid, but with God. The glow from his candle brightens us still, and so on this day before the winter solistis, the day winter starts to move towards summer and the days get longer and brighter, we say, “Thank you, thank you, thank you …”
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Barry Shoemaker Obituary
Barry Ellis Shoemaker, 44, passed away on Sunday, December 14, 2008, at Beacon Place in Greensboro, N.C.
A graveside service will be held at 11 a.m. on Wednesday, December 17, at Green Hill Cemetery, 901 Wharton St., Greensboro, N.C. A memorial service to celebrate Barry's life will be held 11 a.m. on Saturday, December 20, at College Park Church, 1602 Walker Ave., Greensboro, N.C.
A native of Lenoir, Barry was a long-time resident of Greensboro, living most recently for a short period in Newton, N.C. He owned and operated his own design firm, Barry Shoemaker Interiors for 10 years. Previous employment includes Appalachian Outdoor Advertising and most recently at Old Hickory Tannery. As an interior decorator, Barry enjoyed making homes and businesses fabulous, but most importantly making people smile with his talent. He was featured in Southern Living and North Carolina Design magazines. Barry graduated from West Caldwell High School in Lenoir, N.C., and Western Piedmont Community College. He was a faithful member of College Park Church, having served as Deacon Chair and a member of the Decorations Committee.
Barry was preceded in death by his beloved mother, Dorothy Ann Shoemaker.
He is survived by his loving partner, Alan Jenkins of Greensboro, N.C. Barry is also survived by his loving family; father, Rex Shoemaker; brother, Tony; sister- in-law, Lisa and their two children, Megan and Riley all of Lenoir, N.C. Barry leaves behind extended family and friends to remember his smile, generosity and love of life!
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to The Preston Robert Tisch Brain Tumor Center at Duke, DUMC Box 3624, Durham, NC 27710, College Park Church, 1602 Walker Ave., Greensboro, NC 27403 or a Hospice center of your choice.
Forbis & Dick Guilford Chapel is serving the Shoemaker family.
Barry Ellis Shoemaker, 44, passed away on Sunday, December 14, 2008, at Beacon Place in Greensboro, N.C.
A graveside service will be held at 11 a.m. on Wednesday, December 17, at Green Hill Cemetery, 901 Wharton St., Greensboro, N.C. A memorial service to celebrate Barry's life will be held 11 a.m. on Saturday, December 20, at College Park Church, 1602 Walker Ave., Greensboro, N.C.
A native of Lenoir, Barry was a long-time resident of Greensboro, living most recently for a short period in Newton, N.C. He owned and operated his own design firm, Barry Shoemaker Interiors for 10 years. Previous employment includes Appalachian Outdoor Advertising and most recently at Old Hickory Tannery. As an interior decorator, Barry enjoyed making homes and businesses fabulous, but most importantly making people smile with his talent. He was featured in Southern Living and North Carolina Design magazines. Barry graduated from West Caldwell High School in Lenoir, N.C., and Western Piedmont Community College. He was a faithful member of College Park Church, having served as Deacon Chair and a member of the Decorations Committee.
Barry was preceded in death by his beloved mother, Dorothy Ann Shoemaker.
He is survived by his loving partner, Alan Jenkins of Greensboro, N.C. Barry is also survived by his loving family; father, Rex Shoemaker; brother, Tony; sister- in-law, Lisa and their two children, Megan and Riley all of Lenoir, N.C. Barry leaves behind extended family and friends to remember his smile, generosity and love of life!
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to The Preston Robert Tisch Brain Tumor Center at Duke, DUMC Box 3624, Durham, NC 27710, College Park Church, 1602 Walker Ave., Greensboro, NC 27403 or a Hospice center of your choice.
Forbis & Dick Guilford Chapel is serving the Shoemaker family.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Good Bye Barry
A friend of mine, Barry Shoemaker, died this morning around 7 AM. I knew Barry prior to coming to College Park Church. In fact, he was the first person to introduce me to College Park Church, though I didn't begin attending till much later.
I, personally, thought Barry was an extremely friendly and thoughtful person. My interaction with him was always very pleasant.
Our Church was very tender today, with the announcement of his death. He made a huge impact in the church.
I am sure he is in heaven now....getting his first redecorating assignment from GOD !!
I, personally, thought Barry was an extremely friendly and thoughtful person. My interaction with him was always very pleasant.
Our Church was very tender today, with the announcement of his death. He made a huge impact in the church.
I am sure he is in heaven now....getting his first redecorating assignment from GOD !!
The 3rd Sunday of Advent
NOTE: The above picture is credited to MarkRoberts.comThe 3rd Sunday of Advent.....The Candle of JOY
May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.
—Colossians 1:11-14
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Anderson Cooper - Makes CNN worth watching !
NOTE: I do not take any credit for the above picture. The picture is from www.insidesocal.com/outinhollywood/Saturday, December 6, 2008
Sunday, November 30, 2008
The First Sunday of Advent
The First Candle Lit in the Advent Wreath - The Candle of Expectation or Hope !!
I am really Thankful !!
When I think about the first Thanksgiving in 1621, I think alot of us imagine a scene similar to the above picture. I find it interesting that the "Pilgrims" who came to this primitive country were able to sit down and celebrate for several days.."Thanksgiving"...with Indians.....people who were very different from them...Religious and culturally speaking....Why did they do so? Because they needed them...and they were thankful of the Indians contributions to help them survive.
It's 2008 and I find that there is something to learn from the 1621 Plymouth Colony: Inclusion. We are in so called modern times.....and have we really learned anything?
What should our Thanksgiving Table look like now? White, Black, Asian, Latino, Straight, Gay, Old, and Young ? We are no different than the Plymouth Colony.....We all need one another to survive....to learn....to make our life richer.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
In Memory of Betty Crotts !!
Betty Crotts was the mother of the Pastor of the Church I attended for 18 years. She was an incredible person. Betty and I used to spend time decorating the church building and the Communion Table. Some of my best memories are driving around town with her and shopping for the Communion Table. Betty had such a great sense of humor !! I will love and miss you !
This Obituary is listed in the Rich & Thompson Funeral Service website.
Elizabeth Aiken Crotts November 09, 2008Elizabeth Aiken Crotts, 80, of Graham entered Heaven with Jesus Christ Sunday, November 9th. Mrs. Crotts was born on June 14, 1928, in Hickory, NC, the daughter of the late Joseph Paul Aiken and Marion Espey Aiken. She was educated in the public schools of Hickory and attended Lenoir Rhyne College.
During World War II, her parents stopped to pick up a young sailor hitchhiking home to his family. Elizabeth and that young man would write to each other for the duration of the war, and at its end she would become his wife and lifelong partner. They started Graham Furniture Mart together in 1948.
A Christian with a strong faith and possessed of a great compassion for her fellow man, she was a member of Hillside Presbyterian Church. She was a loyal and beloved friend to many. She had a wonderful sense of humor and was always quick to laugh. Her kindness, generosity and appreciation of fun made her the perfect mother and grandmother.
She is survived by her husband of 62 years, George Byron Crotts; three sons, Paul Byron Crotts and wife Paula of Snow Camp, NC, the Reverend Stephen Michael Crotts and wife Kathryn of Hillsborough, NC, and Dr. John Charles Crotts and wife Crystal Colgin of Mt. Pleasant, SC; seven grandchildren, Mark Crotts of Snow Camp, Tricia Councilman and husband Jeff of Gibsonville, Claire Alley and husband Grieg of Wilmington, NC, the Reverend Bryan Crotts and wife Amanda of Huntersville, NC, David Crotts of Arlington, VA, Matthew Crotts of Sarasota, FL, and Sarah Crotts of Mt. Pleasant, SC; three step grandchildren, Steven Harrison of Greensboro, Ryan Harrison of Gibsonville and Holli Harrison of Cornelius, NC; ten great-grandchildren, Austin Crotts, Lexie, Lily and Landon Councilman, George, Beckett and Henry Alley, and Carolyn, Patrick, and Martha Ann Crotts. She is also survived by a sister, Frances Aiken Deaton of Liberty, NC.
A funeral service will be held at 11:00 a.m., Tuesday, November 11, 2008, at Hillside Presbyterian Church, 3743 Maple Avenue, Burlington, NC by the Reverend Bill Prince. Burial will follow the service at Graham Memorial Park The family will receive friends at Hillside Presbyterian Church on Monday from 6 until 8 p.m. In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to the Carolina Study Center, PO Box 135, Alamance, NC 27201; Hillside Presbyterian Church; and Hospice of Alamance, 914 Chapel Hill Road, Burlington, NC 27215.
This Obituary is listed in the Rich & Thompson Funeral Service website.
Elizabeth Aiken Crotts November 09, 2008Elizabeth Aiken Crotts, 80, of Graham entered Heaven with Jesus Christ Sunday, November 9th. Mrs. Crotts was born on June 14, 1928, in Hickory, NC, the daughter of the late Joseph Paul Aiken and Marion Espey Aiken. She was educated in the public schools of Hickory and attended Lenoir Rhyne College.
During World War II, her parents stopped to pick up a young sailor hitchhiking home to his family. Elizabeth and that young man would write to each other for the duration of the war, and at its end she would become his wife and lifelong partner. They started Graham Furniture Mart together in 1948.
A Christian with a strong faith and possessed of a great compassion for her fellow man, she was a member of Hillside Presbyterian Church. She was a loyal and beloved friend to many. She had a wonderful sense of humor and was always quick to laugh. Her kindness, generosity and appreciation of fun made her the perfect mother and grandmother.
She is survived by her husband of 62 years, George Byron Crotts; three sons, Paul Byron Crotts and wife Paula of Snow Camp, NC, the Reverend Stephen Michael Crotts and wife Kathryn of Hillsborough, NC, and Dr. John Charles Crotts and wife Crystal Colgin of Mt. Pleasant, SC; seven grandchildren, Mark Crotts of Snow Camp, Tricia Councilman and husband Jeff of Gibsonville, Claire Alley and husband Grieg of Wilmington, NC, the Reverend Bryan Crotts and wife Amanda of Huntersville, NC, David Crotts of Arlington, VA, Matthew Crotts of Sarasota, FL, and Sarah Crotts of Mt. Pleasant, SC; three step grandchildren, Steven Harrison of Greensboro, Ryan Harrison of Gibsonville and Holli Harrison of Cornelius, NC; ten great-grandchildren, Austin Crotts, Lexie, Lily and Landon Councilman, George, Beckett and Henry Alley, and Carolyn, Patrick, and Martha Ann Crotts. She is also survived by a sister, Frances Aiken Deaton of Liberty, NC.
A funeral service will be held at 11:00 a.m., Tuesday, November 11, 2008, at Hillside Presbyterian Church, 3743 Maple Avenue, Burlington, NC by the Reverend Bill Prince. Burial will follow the service at Graham Memorial Park The family will receive friends at Hillside Presbyterian Church on Monday from 6 until 8 p.m. In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to the Carolina Study Center, PO Box 135, Alamance, NC 27201; Hillside Presbyterian Church; and Hospice of Alamance, 914 Chapel Hill Road, Burlington, NC 27215.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
All Saints Day - Remembering The Ones who have gone before us - You are not forgotton
Judith L Barnes (Best Friend/ 2nd Mother) 2000
Rev. William(Bill) Ruth (Pastor/Close Friend) 1997
Bernie Warren Bentley (Grandmother)
Luther Marcellus Bentley, Sr. (Grandfather)
Luther Marcellus Bentley, Jr. (Uncle) 1982
Hugh Jasper Bentley (Uncle) 1994
Timothy Hugh Bentley (Cousin) 2005
Wrenn Bentley (Uncle)
Ray Cross (Uncle)
Katy Smith Byrd (Aunt) 2008
Jack Smith (Uncle) 1984
Virgie Lineberry Smith (Grandmother) 1985
J. F. Smith, Sr (Grandfather) 1971
J.F. Smith, Jr, (Uncle)
Troy Johnson (Uncle)
Bobby Joe Moser (Friend)
Peggy Moser (Friend)
Vickie Troy (Friend)
Cindy Hancock (Friend)
Cliff Bailey (Friend) 2008
Paul Smith (Friend)
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
“Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly.” Sam Keen
“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. " Dr. Seuss
“If you have to think about whether you love someone or not then the answer is no. When you love someone you just know. " Janice Markowitz
“You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back" Barbara De Angelis
“Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love." Erich Fromm
“A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself -- to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.”
Leo F. Buscaglia
“Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over." Author unknown
“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. " Dr. Seuss
“If you have to think about whether you love someone or not then the answer is no. When you love someone you just know. " Janice Markowitz
“You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back" Barbara De Angelis
“Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love." Erich Fromm
“A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself -- to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.”
Leo F. Buscaglia
“Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over." Author unknown
Goodbye Cliff
My Friend, Cliff, from American Express died unexpectedly on Tuesday, Oct 7, while I was in NYC. One of my dear friends at American Express called me in NYC to let me know, so I didn't come back home and work unprepared.
There will be many of us who will miss you !! May you be at rest.
Clifton Clayton Bailey
GREENSBORO — Clifton Clayton Bailey, 39, passed away unexpectedly on Tuesday, October 7, 2008.
Memorial services will be held at 1 p.m. on Tuesday, October 14, at the Greensboro Stake Center of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, located at 3719 Pinetop Road, Greensboro, N.C., with burial to follow at Westminster Gardens.
He was born on March 7, 1969, in Greensboro, N.C., at Moses Cone Memorial Hospital. He graduated from Southeast high School in 1987 and attended Brigham Young University. He was a lifelong member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He worked at American Express since June of 1989 and was currently an Employee Engagement Leader.
He loved life and lived it fully. He was a warm, generous, kindhearted person who never met a stranger. He had a great sense of humor and a wonderful gift for making people laugh and telling great stories. Always the jokester, he loved playing practical jokes. April Fool's Day and Halloween were always stressful times for his family, friends and co-workers.
Cliff was a dear son, brother, grandson and friend. He will always be our funny, sweet Cliff, our very own "super" hero, much loved and greatly missed.
Cliff was preceded in death by his grandmother, Louise Bailey, grandfathers, Ray L. Clifton and Clyde Clayton Bailey, Sr., and uncle, Carl E. Bailey.
Those left to cherish all the wonderful memories are his father and mother, Clyde and Brenda Bailey; sister, Kristin Burns; maternal grandmother, Sallie Mae Clifton; his godson, Brodie Aaron Syphers; aunt, Sherry Bailey; cousins, Shannon and Autumn; his work family at American Express and his many wonderful friends.
We would like to express our thanks to Cliff's special friends at American Express, Annette, Cassandra, Raquel and Wendy, who have been so generous with their time and efforts and have been so supportive during this difficult time. Also, many thanks to Cliff's friends who have been such a comfort.
A gathering to celebrate Cliff's life will take place from 6 until 8 :30 p.m. on Monday, October 13, at George Brothers Funeral Service.
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints at 3719 Pinetop Road, Greensboro, NC 27410, or to the charity of one's choice.
As listed in the Greensboro News and Record, Oct 12, 2008
There will be many of us who will miss you !! May you be at rest.
Clifton Clayton Bailey
GREENSBORO — Clifton Clayton Bailey, 39, passed away unexpectedly on Tuesday, October 7, 2008.
Memorial services will be held at 1 p.m. on Tuesday, October 14, at the Greensboro Stake Center of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, located at 3719 Pinetop Road, Greensboro, N.C., with burial to follow at Westminster Gardens.
He was born on March 7, 1969, in Greensboro, N.C., at Moses Cone Memorial Hospital. He graduated from Southeast high School in 1987 and attended Brigham Young University. He was a lifelong member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He worked at American Express since June of 1989 and was currently an Employee Engagement Leader.
He loved life and lived it fully. He was a warm, generous, kindhearted person who never met a stranger. He had a great sense of humor and a wonderful gift for making people laugh and telling great stories. Always the jokester, he loved playing practical jokes. April Fool's Day and Halloween were always stressful times for his family, friends and co-workers.
Cliff was a dear son, brother, grandson and friend. He will always be our funny, sweet Cliff, our very own "super" hero, much loved and greatly missed.
Cliff was preceded in death by his grandmother, Louise Bailey, grandfathers, Ray L. Clifton and Clyde Clayton Bailey, Sr., and uncle, Carl E. Bailey.
Those left to cherish all the wonderful memories are his father and mother, Clyde and Brenda Bailey; sister, Kristin Burns; maternal grandmother, Sallie Mae Clifton; his godson, Brodie Aaron Syphers; aunt, Sherry Bailey; cousins, Shannon and Autumn; his work family at American Express and his many wonderful friends.
We would like to express our thanks to Cliff's special friends at American Express, Annette, Cassandra, Raquel and Wendy, who have been so generous with their time and efforts and have been so supportive during this difficult time. Also, many thanks to Cliff's friends who have been such a comfort.
A gathering to celebrate Cliff's life will take place from 6 until 8 :30 p.m. on Monday, October 13, at George Brothers Funeral Service.
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints at 3719 Pinetop Road, Greensboro, NC 27410, or to the charity of one's choice.
As listed in the Greensboro News and Record, Oct 12, 2008
NYC - Oct 2008
The above is "The Sower" by Van Gogh. I discovered it at MOMA (Museum of Modern Art) in NYC while visiting. The painting is incredible to see. A picture doesn't do it justice.
I visited my son, Elliot, Thursday, Oct 2 - Wed, Oct 8. It was one of the fastest visits I have ever had with him.
I arrived on Thursday afternoon. On Friday, we visited MOMA. I'm not really a fan, except the traveling exhibit of Van Gogh, which was excellent. On Friday evening, we saw a Broadway Play called, Equus. Daniel Radcliffe starred in it. It was quite good. A mind thriller. Afterwards, we grabbed dinner and went to a gay bar Elliot had been wanting to visit called Therapy. Other than the drinks, I did'nt find it therapeutic.
On Saturday, we took the train back to the city. We walked around Central Park....and then got the bright idea to take the subway down to the Chelsea (the gay neighborhood). We had dinner at Spiced (asian). Afterwards, we got coffee and walked in the neighborhoods and drooled over the Brownstones. We saw "Nights Of Rodanthe" by Nicholas Sparks. I'm easily entertained, so I liked it, but Elliot didn't connect with it.
Sunday was a down day. We slept lay....went out to dinner....watched "The Sex & The City" movie. It was a nice day.
On Monday and Tuesday, Elliot had to work, so I stayed at the Apt and just rested.
Wednesday, came home. I miss my boy. I really love the city !
Monday, September 29, 2008
CHANGE WE NEED ! VOTE OBAMA
On Saturday, Sept 27, 2008, Barack Obama and Joseph Biden attended a Rally in Downtown, Greensboro, North Carolina. I'm 43 and it was the first political rally I have ever attended. After working all night at American Express, I picked my youngest son up from my parent's home in Burlington and drove back to downtown Greensboro for the rally. We arrived in a parking garage around 9:30 AM and begin walking down Elm Street to find out where the line began to go into the Rally Area. I had no idea what to expect. However, much to my surprise, at 9:30 AM, the line was already blocks and blocks down Elm Street. Andrew's eyes, like mine, were huge with shock and excitement.
We stood in line until 10:45 before the line began moving. People were friendly and excited about the rally. No one was disorderly. Vendors kept walking up and down the street attempting to sell their Obama Memorabilia. It worked. I bought 2 T-Shirts for the kids.. Obama Buttons and 2 bumper stickers !!!
We finally made it to the Metal Detectors and got inside the Rally area around 11:45 AM. It was just incredible the amount of people that were there for the event. It was quite exciting. Security was extremely tight. We heard on the radio that 6 square blocks had been blocked off. Snipers were on top of most of the buildings in view of the Depot. I had never seen a Secret Service officer before, except in a movie. OMG...just like the movies...dark suit and glasses !!
Finally, Obama and Biden arrived. Biden was excellent for the first time. He has not been my favorite choice for VP, but what the heck do I know !! However, he gave an excellent speech. The crowds went crazy !!! Obama was equally exhilerating. He attacked McCain with a vengeance !! And rightly so !!!
John McCain is just out of touch of the real people who pay taxes in this country! He is clueless of who makes up the middle class ! Additionally, being a Gay Citizen. I expect not to be a 2nd class citizen ! I expect to have the same rights as every other American. I pay taxes. I expect the same country to protect my rights as the country protects the rights of others.
I was exhausted after the rally, being I had been up all night at work. However, I have no regrets in going. I'm thrilled !!
VOTE OBAMA !!!
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
A SAD DAY !!! 2008 OLYMPIC CLOSING CEREMONY
NOTE: I take no credit for the pics. The images were from the TIME<>
Congrats to Matthew Mitcham - Aussie Diver
Congratulations to Matthew Mitcham. He won Gold in the 10 Metre Platform Diving Competition in Beijing. Matthew is the only male in the 2008 Olympics who is openly Gay. He has more than one reason to be Proud !!
Note: I hold no claim on any pictures on this site. I have made every attempt to use pictures of public domain......
Sunday, August 17, 2008
OBAMA 2008
Well....I have done it !!! I have made the decision !!! I am supporting Barack Obama for President !!
The Inside of Me - Reconciling Faith & Being Gay
Growing up in a very conservative Christian home and being active in church for the majority of my adult life, faith in Jesus, has been a priority in my life. Over the last few years, determining I am truly a Gay person, has caused me to turn a way from church. I cannot say I have turned from my faith, but I have had difficulty having a relationship with God, who supposedly hates me because I am gay. How can I love and serve someone, who I believe created me.....and allows me to have these feelings of same sex attraction. I have spent a majority of my life, attempting to overcome being homosexual.
Recently, I have decided to address this issue, and attempt to reconcile my faith and my being gay. I have begun attending church, again. Currently, I am visiting College Park Baptist Church in Greensboro. It's NOT a Southern Baptist Church, but an American Baptist Church. It openly states that is a church that is inclusive of all people.
If anyone has an interest in why I'm attending this Church, here's the website:
http://www.collegeparkchurch.com/
Also, I have come across a website called the Gay Christian Network. Some very interesting
articles in the Great Debate Section. Here's the link...but I think you must have a log in to view all the posts:
http://www.gaychristian.net/index.php
I am in no way suggesting I have come to terms with this subject. I have not at all. However, I am attempting to address the issues. My relationship with God has always been important.
Recently, I have decided to address this issue, and attempt to reconcile my faith and my being gay. I have begun attending church, again. Currently, I am visiting College Park Baptist Church in Greensboro. It's NOT a Southern Baptist Church, but an American Baptist Church. It openly states that is a church that is inclusive of all people.
If anyone has an interest in why I'm attending this Church, here's the website:
http://www.collegeparkchurch.com/
Also, I have come across a website called the Gay Christian Network. Some very interesting
articles in the Great Debate Section. Here's the link...but I think you must have a log in to view all the posts:
http://www.gaychristian.net/index.php
I am in no way suggesting I have come to terms with this subject. I have not at all. However, I am attempting to address the issues. My relationship with God has always been important.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
WHO SHOULD I PICK ? !!! LOL
WOW !! Look at these guys !! Both raising their hands, hoping I will pick them for a date !!! LOL !!! I didn't know they, both, wanted to go out with me so badly !!! Who should I pick ? !!!HE HE... In all Serious !!! Congrats to Michael Phelps.....8 Gold Medals....and also, to his friend and swimming partner, Ryan Lochte !!!! He's won a Gold and Silver this year !! BTW !! He's cute, on top of it !! HE HE !! He's Golden in my book !!
YOU GO MICHAEL - 7 GOLD Medals
Micael Phelps and Ryan Lochte (Michael's swimming partner). Wouldn't they make a cute couple ? HE HE
Sunday, August 10, 2008
OLYMPICS 2008 - BEIJING
I absolutely love the Olympics !!! I am absolutely mesmorized for the duration. The US Athletes are Amazing !!! I wish them the best !!
To the Right is a pic of Michael Phelps. An incredible swimmer ! He's already 1 Gold !!! Only 7 more to go !!!!
Friday, August 8, 2008
AWWW !! My Eldest Son is Growing Up !!
Today is an exciting day in our family. My eldest son, Elliot, moved into his very own apartment in NY. He's still living out on Long Island, but now, no more roommates !!! Yay!! for him !!
I guess if I have to lose my son to NY....at least he has his own apartment !! No more hotels for me when I visit !!! HE HE !!
Also, he took a huge risk, and took on a new and very challenging job, recently. It was a gamble....but it paid off !!!
I can't be any more proud of him !!
I love him so much.....It's hard to remember life without him. He's brought so much joy to our family !!!
I love you, son !!
Father Dearest !
I guess if I have to lose my son to NY....at least he has his own apartment !! No more hotels for me when I visit !!! HE HE !!
Also, he took a huge risk, and took on a new and very challenging job, recently. It was a gamble....but it paid off !!!
I can't be any more proud of him !!
I love him so much.....It's hard to remember life without him. He's brought so much joy to our family !!!
I love you, son !!
Father Dearest !
Sunday, August 3, 2008
When it rains, it pours !
I haven't posted recently due to illness. I was diagnosed with Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever 2 weeks ago and have been recovering at home. I have been quite ill. The doctors are telling me, it could take a month to get my energy back.
At least the symptoms didn't show until July 16. Elliot and a friend of his had been here the prior weekend, and had just left the day before my symptoms began showing.
So...for the last couple of weeks....I've done nothing other than lay around and rest.
I, finally, went back to work Thursday, July 31. In the afternoon, mom called to tell me that Aunt Katy had been moved to the Hospice Home in Burlington. We couldn't believe it. Mom had just been with her the day prior and she looked pretty darn good. I drove to Burlington, picked up Mom and we went to the Hospice Home. Mom was amazed how far the decline in Aunt Katy's health was in just 24 hours. We stayed a few hours and went home for the evening.
Friday AM, mom called me and told me that she was rushing to the Hospice Home. They had called and said Aunt Katy had another hour or two to live. I called rest of Mom's siblings to let them know about Aunt Katy's worstened condition. Afterwards, I drove to the Hospice Home to be with my mom and cousins. After a bit, Aunt Katy seemed to half way stabilize. I went and picked up Aunt Dot and brought her to Aunt Katy's bedside. She sat there holding her hand for about 5 hours. All of Aunt Katy's brothers/sisters came to visit with her. Of course Mike, Kaye and Ken were there with their spouses and children.
At Lunch, mom and I went back to her house and took an hour's rest and we went back to the Hospice Home. Around 3, we took Aunt Dot back home. As I pulled into my drive, my mom called to let me know that Aunt Katy had just died.
The kids and I spent the evening with Grandmother/Granddaddy (my parents), and visited with Aunt Dot, Uncle Fred/Aunt Helen, and Uncle Harvey/Aunt Margaret.
I have been asked to be a pallbearer , along with my cousins, Steven, Roger and Gary Smith.
At least the symptoms didn't show until July 16. Elliot and a friend of his had been here the prior weekend, and had just left the day before my symptoms began showing.
So...for the last couple of weeks....I've done nothing other than lay around and rest.
I, finally, went back to work Thursday, July 31. In the afternoon, mom called to tell me that Aunt Katy had been moved to the Hospice Home in Burlington. We couldn't believe it. Mom had just been with her the day prior and she looked pretty darn good. I drove to Burlington, picked up Mom and we went to the Hospice Home. Mom was amazed how far the decline in Aunt Katy's health was in just 24 hours. We stayed a few hours and went home for the evening.
Friday AM, mom called me and told me that she was rushing to the Hospice Home. They had called and said Aunt Katy had another hour or two to live. I called rest of Mom's siblings to let them know about Aunt Katy's worstened condition. Afterwards, I drove to the Hospice Home to be with my mom and cousins. After a bit, Aunt Katy seemed to half way stabilize. I went and picked up Aunt Dot and brought her to Aunt Katy's bedside. She sat there holding her hand for about 5 hours. All of Aunt Katy's brothers/sisters came to visit with her. Of course Mike, Kaye and Ken were there with their spouses and children.
At Lunch, mom and I went back to her house and took an hour's rest and we went back to the Hospice Home. Around 3, we took Aunt Dot back home. As I pulled into my drive, my mom called to let me know that Aunt Katy had just died.
The kids and I spent the evening with Grandmother/Granddaddy (my parents), and visited with Aunt Dot, Uncle Fred/Aunt Helen, and Uncle Harvey/Aunt Margaret.
I have been asked to be a pallbearer , along with my cousins, Steven, Roger and Gary Smith.
My Aunt Katy died, Friday, August 1, 2008
Aunt Katy had the onset of Alzheimer's Disease and just this year was diagnosed with Pancreatic
cancer. My mom had just seen her on Wednesday and her health amazingly declined overnight. On Thursday, she was moved to the Hospice Home, and she died on Friday afternoon.
Burlington Times News Posted the following Obituary:
Katy Smith Byrd
BURLINGTON - Katy Smith Byrd, 78, went home to be with the Lord Friday, August 1, 2008 at the Hospice Home of Alamance-Caswell. Mrs. Byrd was born September 16, 1929 in Guilford County to the late J. Fletcher and Virgie Lineberry Smith. Mrs. Byrd was a long time member of Glen Hope Baptist Church where she taught a 1st grade Sunday school class and was proud to work with Meals on Wheels where she volunteered with her good friend Dot Staley.
Katy lived a full life. She married her first love, reared three children, nurtured eight grandchildren, and died surrounded by those she loved most. She had a gentle and nurturing spirit, which was most clearly seen in the unwavering love she had for eight grandchildren who affectionately called her "Mama Byrd." She also dearly loved her brothers and sisters. She often shared fond memories of her siblings with those who knew her best. Some of the fondest memories her family holds are those related to helping her prepare the traditional Christmas spaghetti dinner and seeing the beauty of her flower garden which she tediously tended. She will be remembered for her kindness, attention to detail, and her steadfast devotion to both her family and her faith.
Survivors include her husband of 56 years, Hugh Watson Byrd of the home; three children, Michael Watson Byrd and his wife Janice of Burlington, Kaye Byrd Canada and her husband Joe of Burlington, and Kenneth Hugh Byrd and his wife Laura of Snow Camp; eight grandchildren, Matthew Scott Byrd, Nathan Edward Byrd, Madison Elizabeth Byrd, Joseph Byrd Canada, Jacob Ethan Byrd, Grant Watson Canada, Katy Susanna Canada, and Kenneth Hunter Byrd; three brothers, Harvey C. Smith (Margaret) of Liberty, Ernest Smith (Rose Marie) of Pleasant Garden, and Fred Smith (Helen) of Liberty; three sisters, Dorothy Smith Johnson of Burlington, Elsie Smith Bentley of Archdale, and Shirley Smith Bentley (Earl) of Burlington; and a special friend, Jane Sharpe.
Mrs. Byrd was preceded in death by two brothers, J.F. Smith and Jack Smith.
A funeral service will be held 11:00 a.m. Monday, August 4, 2008 at Glen Hope Baptist Church by the Rev. Larry Redding. The family will receive friends 9:00-10:45 a.m. prior to the service at the church. Interment will follow at Pine Hill Cemetery.
Memorials can be made to Glen Hope Baptist Church, 911 North Ave., Burlington, NC 27217.
You may sign the online register book at www.lowefuneralhome.com
cancer. My mom had just seen her on Wednesday and her health amazingly declined overnight. On Thursday, she was moved to the Hospice Home, and she died on Friday afternoon.
Burlington Times News Posted the following Obituary:
Katy Smith Byrd
BURLINGTON - Katy Smith Byrd, 78, went home to be with the Lord Friday, August 1, 2008 at the Hospice Home of Alamance-Caswell. Mrs. Byrd was born September 16, 1929 in Guilford County to the late J. Fletcher and Virgie Lineberry Smith. Mrs. Byrd was a long time member of Glen Hope Baptist Church where she taught a 1st grade Sunday school class and was proud to work with Meals on Wheels where she volunteered with her good friend Dot Staley.
Katy lived a full life. She married her first love, reared three children, nurtured eight grandchildren, and died surrounded by those she loved most. She had a gentle and nurturing spirit, which was most clearly seen in the unwavering love she had for eight grandchildren who affectionately called her "Mama Byrd." She also dearly loved her brothers and sisters. She often shared fond memories of her siblings with those who knew her best. Some of the fondest memories her family holds are those related to helping her prepare the traditional Christmas spaghetti dinner and seeing the beauty of her flower garden which she tediously tended. She will be remembered for her kindness, attention to detail, and her steadfast devotion to both her family and her faith.
Survivors include her husband of 56 years, Hugh Watson Byrd of the home; three children, Michael Watson Byrd and his wife Janice of Burlington, Kaye Byrd Canada and her husband Joe of Burlington, and Kenneth Hugh Byrd and his wife Laura of Snow Camp; eight grandchildren, Matthew Scott Byrd, Nathan Edward Byrd, Madison Elizabeth Byrd, Joseph Byrd Canada, Jacob Ethan Byrd, Grant Watson Canada, Katy Susanna Canada, and Kenneth Hunter Byrd; three brothers, Harvey C. Smith (Margaret) of Liberty, Ernest Smith (Rose Marie) of Pleasant Garden, and Fred Smith (Helen) of Liberty; three sisters, Dorothy Smith Johnson of Burlington, Elsie Smith Bentley of Archdale, and Shirley Smith Bentley (Earl) of Burlington; and a special friend, Jane Sharpe.
Mrs. Byrd was preceded in death by two brothers, J.F. Smith and Jack Smith.
A funeral service will be held 11:00 a.m. Monday, August 4, 2008 at Glen Hope Baptist Church by the Rev. Larry Redding. The family will receive friends 9:00-10:45 a.m. prior to the service at the church. Interment will follow at Pine Hill Cemetery.
Memorials can be made to Glen Hope Baptist Church, 911 North Ave., Burlington, NC 27217.
You may sign the online register book at www.lowefuneralhome.com
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Saturday, July 12
In a couple of hours, my oldest son will arrive from NYC with a friend. I am so excited. It will be the first time that all 3 kids and I will be together since Christmas. Elliot will be here until Tuesday at lunch....He's bringing a friend...Sammy.
I hope our visit will be as wonderul as I imagine. Today will be rest and hanging out......
I hope our visit will be as wonderul as I imagine. Today will be rest and hanging out......
Monday, June 30, 2008
GAY PRIDE ? 2008
I have been thinking about GAY PRIDE MONTH for the whole of June and trying to decide.....do I get involved....do I celebrate....do I just ignore it. Greensboro had their Gay Pride Weekend in early June which I did not attend due to work. NYC, where my son (Elliot) lives, celebrated GAY PRIDE this past weekend. After speaking with him, I "Googled" the event and was somewhat disappointed at the images I saw.
I'm not so sure I have much to be proud of when I look at the pictures of the NYC GAY PRIDE Parade. In my opinion, it was a little much for my personal taste. Let's face it. I'm a 43 Year Old , Gay Father of 3 kids. I came out later in life and I'm quite conservative. If I were in my 20's and single, I may feel differently.
Scantly clad men strutting down the NYC streets seems more like a public display of erotica, rather than a group of a Proud people being GAY / LESBIAN. It seems more like an "In Your Face" exhibition to the Christian Reich, Conservatives and other groups who show intolerance for homosexuality. And in defense of those groups mentioned.....Our People sure can give them "fuel for their fire", by such public displays. I, personally, have no issue with the scantly dressed gay men....however, I wonder if it more appropriate for the creative, expressive and erotic behavior be displayed at the gay clubs and bars....and leave the Public Parades as an expression of unity and a way to educate the watching.
Now.....with all that being said.....I am quite comfortable in my skin as a gay man. I am in no way embarrassed of who I am. And I am Proud of the People like myself, who call themselves gay / lesbian. The "price" many gays / lesbians have paid to be OUT, has been high, and still more and more come OUT !! Our world is a much more beautiful, creative and artistic place because of the homosexuals who have come before us......Socrates, Richard, the lion hearted, Lord Byron, Walt Whitman, Oscar Wilde, Cole Porter, Andy Warhol, Willa Cather, Tchaiovsky, Julius Caesar, Augustus Caesar, and Marie Antoinette. Michelangelo....and the list goes on.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
JUNE
June has continued to be a busy month. The kids have gotton out of school. Jessica has celebrated her 17th birthday !!!! Currently, the kids are visting my former in laws in Cleveland, OH. They are having a really good time. I know they have spent lots of time on Lake Erie with the neighbors, who have a boat about the size of my house !!! LOL !! O MY !!
While the kids have been in Cleveland, I've been painting Jessica's bedroom as apart of her room makeover, I promised for her Birthday !! She chose a deep, deep rose color for the walls. The color matches one of the roses in an antique fine china pattern called Old English Rose by Royal Albert. Her room is taking on a very feminine look....almost English Cottage style.
Jessica returns home on June 30, but Andrew will be gone until July 10. I miss the babies. Elliot comes home on July 12...very early in the morning. Boy...it's only a 3 day weekend with him. It will fly by. Just another opportunity to shed more tears when he leaves to go back to NYC.
Hmmm...What else has been going on this month....O....How can I forget.... J.R. and I spending alot of time together. I'm really enjoying his company. He's such a nice guy. We get along so well.
J.R. and I did spend last Sunday on the boat with his brother Ruben, Theresa, and J.R.'s friends, Ken and Tim. We had a great time !!! The weather was great !! It was such a relaxing day. J.R. brought the drinks and meat to grill. I made the potato salad, devilled eggs, cheese ball, a honey bun cake, and Pineapple Upside down cupcakes (Steve and Terri's recipe).
Saturday, June 14, 2008
WOW - LIFE IS BUSY
I was reminded on Saturday from friends in Cleveland, that I had not blogged in a very long time. I was particularly reminded that I had not mentioned what a "MARVELOUS" time I had with them, when they visited me in May. Therefore, I am taking the hint; It's time to BLOG !!
MAY
May was quite the month. Some of my very closest and dearest friends came for a visit during the first week. What a MARVELOUS time we all had ! Steve, Terri and Cassi flew in and we spent the weekend, hanging out, grilling out for the first few days. We spent a day in Durham, walking and picnicing in Sarah Duke Gardens. Afterwards we went to the LEMUR exhibit at Duke University and took a tour of the facility dedicated to the preservation of LEMURS. We spent a day in downtown Greensboro. Steve, Terri, and Cassi spent the morning at The Greensboro Children's Museum. Afterwards, we had lunch at an outdoor cafe, then walked around the downtown area....We discovered the Greensboro Cultural Arts Center. An excellent facility. Later in the afternoon, we took a walk at Tanger Family Park...This has always been one of my favorite parks...It reminds me of an English Garden. What a great visit !
Jessica had Jr / Sr Prom in May. She was so beautiful in her evening gown!!! She had such a great time !! Her prom date was a gay guy from her school....How safe can you get ? I can't believe how all grown up she is now. I am so fortunate to have such great kids.
I, also, have some other news. I have begun hanging out with a guy. His name is J. R. He's from Venezuela. What a nice guy. He's a Real Estate Agent in Winston Salem. Jessica and Andrew seem to like him, as well, which is a real plus. Elliot will not meet him until his July visit.
J.R. owns a Pontoon Boat and Memorial Day, he invited the kids and I to go boating with him. When we arrived at his condo, we discovered his brother, Ruben and Ruben's Girlfriend (Theresa) were coming along. We had the best day !! We got on Belews Lake around 12:30 and didn't get the boat out of the water until about 8:30. We beached the Pontoon Boat in a little cove and spent the afternoon swimming, sunning, grilling out, and just floating on floats in the water. It was the most relaxing day.
Also, this month, we discovered that Andrew passed his End of Grade Testing !!! No summer school !! YAY !!!
I turned 43 this month, on May 24. It was a good birthday. It was quiet, with no drama. Chara, a friend from work , J.R. , and thed kids and I, had a cookout at our home. It was a good day !
MAY
May was quite the month. Some of my very closest and dearest friends came for a visit during the first week. What a MARVELOUS time we all had ! Steve, Terri and Cassi flew in and we spent the weekend, hanging out, grilling out for the first few days. We spent a day in Durham, walking and picnicing in Sarah Duke Gardens. Afterwards we went to the LEMUR exhibit at Duke University and took a tour of the facility dedicated to the preservation of LEMURS. We spent a day in downtown Greensboro. Steve, Terri, and Cassi spent the morning at The Greensboro Children's Museum. Afterwards, we had lunch at an outdoor cafe, then walked around the downtown area....We discovered the Greensboro Cultural Arts Center. An excellent facility. Later in the afternoon, we took a walk at Tanger Family Park...This has always been one of my favorite parks...It reminds me of an English Garden. What a great visit !
Jessica had Jr / Sr Prom in May. She was so beautiful in her evening gown!!! She had such a great time !! Her prom date was a gay guy from her school....How safe can you get ? I can't believe how all grown up she is now. I am so fortunate to have such great kids.
I, also, have some other news. I have begun hanging out with a guy. His name is J. R. He's from Venezuela. What a nice guy. He's a Real Estate Agent in Winston Salem. Jessica and Andrew seem to like him, as well, which is a real plus. Elliot will not meet him until his July visit.
J.R. owns a Pontoon Boat and Memorial Day, he invited the kids and I to go boating with him. When we arrived at his condo, we discovered his brother, Ruben and Ruben's Girlfriend (Theresa) were coming along. We had the best day !! We got on Belews Lake around 12:30 and didn't get the boat out of the water until about 8:30. We beached the Pontoon Boat in a little cove and spent the afternoon swimming, sunning, grilling out, and just floating on floats in the water. It was the most relaxing day.
Also, this month, we discovered that Andrew passed his End of Grade Testing !!! No summer school !! YAY !!!
I turned 43 this month, on May 24. It was a good birthday. It was quiet, with no drama. Chara, a friend from work , J.R. , and thed kids and I, had a cookout at our home. It was a good day !
Sunday, April 27, 2008
NEW YORK - April 17 - 22
Well...my visit to NYC to visit my son, Elliot, has come and gone. Jessica was there at the same time with her Choral Department from her Performing Arts High School. It was a wonderful visit !! I just can't believe it has come and gone !
I arrived in on Thursday evening, April 22. I took the LIRR (Long Island RR) out to Lindenhurst. Elliot and I had dinner at Olive Garden and watched a movie, The Kite Runner. What a powerful film !
Friday, Elliot had to work. I took his car and went out to Robert Moses Beach. It was an incredible day, about 75 degrees and Sunny. It was an incredible day. I took the book I had been reading , "Without You" by Anthony Rapp. At lunch, I picked Elliot up for lunch, had a quick bite and took him back to work. In the afternoon, I napped and watched a little TV. After picking him up for work, we took the LIRR into the city to meet Jessica to see our first Broadway Play. We saw "Legally Blond". I am easily entertained and enjoyed it. Elliot and Jessica, not so much. Afterwards, the students headed back to their hotel Elliot and I wondered the city for a while and ended up at a gay club and had a few drinks. Afterwards, we headed back to PENN STATION and got the LIRR back home...It was incredibly crowded !
Saturday, Elliot and I were up very early and back on the LIRR , heading into the city. Jessica's Choir was performing at Church of Saint Paul the Apostle, a catholic church. It was up on W 59th, right at Central Park and Columbus Circle. The Church was beautiful and the acoustics were incredible !! Amy, Victor and Sienna came to the performance. Amy is Linda's cousin, Sue's daughter. I have remained pretty close to them since the divorce. It was so good to see them. After the concert, we walked in Central Park and then went had lunch at a Cuban Restaurant that Victor suggested. WONDERFUL food. Afterwards, we just happened upon the pararde route for the POPE. He was coming right down 5th Ave. It was unbelievably crowded. However, we got some good pics and videos of the Holy Father. It was a great feeling to be apart of something so big and historical, having the POPE in the city. We were all excited.
Afterwards, Victor, Amy, and Sienna went on their way. Elliot, Jessica, Alana (Jess' friend) and I tooled around the city. We went by Saint Patrick's Cathdral, Bryant Park and then took the Subway to Downtown. We shopped in Chinatown and went down to the World Trade Center Site. Afterwards, we delivered the kids to the Italian Restaurant to meet the other students. Elliot took the Subway back to Penn Station and then back on the LIRR to Lindenhurst.
We slept in on Sunday. I didn't get up until noon. I watched the POPE give Mass at Yankee Stadium. Elliot came and we had lunch at Red Lobster, then headed back to the city on the LIRR to meet the kids to see "Mary Poppins". It was an excellent performance. Sunday night in the city was really nice...The weather was great and it wasn't crowded. It was much easier to get around. When getting back from the city, we stopped in at the local Diner, The Lindencrest and had breakfast food.
On Monday, I took Elliot to work, checked out of the hotel room and went to the beach after having lunch with him. I read more. It was a much different day than on Friday. It was cool and windy. however, the sun was out and it was quite beautiful. After picking Elliot up from work, we drove out east and picked up a new dog for him. She's a chocolate Pomeranian, we named her "Broadway". She's gorgeous !! and has such a nice temperament...so far !
On Tuesday AM, Elliot took me to the airport very early and I headed back to NC. I did really well until I got my car from long term parking. I just sat and cried for a few minutes. I miss having that boy in my life on a daily basis. Some of my happiest days have been living with him, when we had the apartment together. I don't want to lessen my love or how fortunate to have my younger two kids living with me. However, my whole family is not together with him in NY. I just wish he would come home.
At the end of the day....It was a great trip !!! NYC is a "one of a kind" place !!!
Sunday, April 6, 2008
To My 3 Kids - Elliot, Jessica and Andrew
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you. "
-- Winnie the Pooh
A Few Lines...
Haven't had much time to post lately. Much of my time has been spent with the kids and house. The kids were out of school the week of Easter and I took the week off from work. I spent time with them and did quite a bit of work around the house.
Finally, all the wallpaper is down in the kitchen, the hall bath, and most of it is down in the Master Bath (Master Bath...HA). I have given family and friends permission to smack me in the mouth if I ever mention putting wallpaper up again !!!! I have hated taking it down. It's just not worth it !! Now...If I become (this is a big IF) independently wealthy and can have it hired out....I would consider. The paint is on the walls in the kitchen, but not the cabinets yet. The kids have picked out the color of their bathroom . My bedroom and bath, I have no idea, yet !! Now, I just need the time to get it all done.
Steve, Terri, and Cassi are scheduled to arrive the first weekend in May. I'm interested in their arrangements getting here, being SKYBUS went bankrupt and Steve and Terri had tickets with them. Lots going on and lots to do before they arrive. I will be in NYC for 5 days, visting Elliot and hanging out with Jessica and her choral group. It will be interesting to see how much gets done. However, I must admit, it's a motivating factor, having company come visit.
Finally, all the wallpaper is down in the kitchen, the hall bath, and most of it is down in the Master Bath (Master Bath...HA). I have given family and friends permission to smack me in the mouth if I ever mention putting wallpaper up again !!!! I have hated taking it down. It's just not worth it !! Now...If I become (this is a big IF) independently wealthy and can have it hired out....I would consider. The paint is on the walls in the kitchen, but not the cabinets yet. The kids have picked out the color of their bathroom . My bedroom and bath, I have no idea, yet !! Now, I just need the time to get it all done.
Steve, Terri, and Cassi are scheduled to arrive the first weekend in May. I'm interested in their arrangements getting here, being SKYBUS went bankrupt and Steve and Terri had tickets with them. Lots going on and lots to do before they arrive. I will be in NYC for 5 days, visting Elliot and hanging out with Jessica and her choral group. It will be interesting to see how much gets done. However, I must admit, it's a motivating factor, having company come visit.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Happy Beheaded Chocolate Bunny Day !!!
HAPPY EASTER !!
Easter is supposedly the first sign of Spring. Here in NC, it's around 60 and sunny...The Daffodils and Tulips are blooming, as well as, The Bradford Pear Trees. However, my son in New York says today's high temp was around 40 degrees....My close friends in Cleveland had 4 " of Snow on the Ground . O MY !!!
Well....Elliot was in NY for Easter....sent his Easter Basket (BOX) to him by UPS last week....Jessica and Andrew spent the weekend with their mom and celebrated Easter there. Haven't heard the stories, yet....but it's always interesting, being my ex wife doesn't cook...I always get a chuckle....but at least she's making an attempt to be domestic for them.
Jessica and Andrew will come home Monday AM, and we will celebrate Easter at my parents at Lunch. I have Easter Baskets for both of them. I think they will like !.
On Easter Day, I came home from American Express.....and made a Coconut Cream Cake (1st Time), Potato Salad and a Sweet Potato Casserole...These are my contributions to our Easter Meal on Monday. I, then, chatted with Elliot for a while...and slept rest of my day.
I still find it odd that I don't go to church on Easter Sunday. It's not that I'm not a believer....but I work such a crazy schedule, it's just difficult to make it to a service....Additionally, being gay, I'm not going to a church that "hates" gay people.
On Tuesday, my cousin, Janice is bringing her mom (Elsie) over to go out to lunch, to celebrate mom's Birthday. Jessica and Andrew, both, want to go. I think Aunt Dot will be coming, as well. Afterwards, we will all go visit Aunt Katie (suffering with Alzheimer's and recently diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer). Aunt Katie's days are numbered. She has had a wonderful life. She's got 3 kids ( my cousins) who love her dearly and would do anything for she and/or Uncle Watson. Also, she has, 7 grandchildren, I think (Mike has 2 kids...Kaye has 3....Ken...hmmm...2, ?).
On Wednesday, I work my Part time job for a few hours. Thursday, I'm off at Pier One and American Express. The kids and I may go hiking or do something fun that day !! YAH !!
Easter is supposedly the first sign of Spring. Here in NC, it's around 60 and sunny...The Daffodils and Tulips are blooming, as well as, The Bradford Pear Trees. However, my son in New York says today's high temp was around 40 degrees....My close friends in Cleveland had 4 " of Snow on the Ground . O MY !!!
Well....Elliot was in NY for Easter....sent his Easter Basket (BOX) to him by UPS last week....Jessica and Andrew spent the weekend with their mom and celebrated Easter there. Haven't heard the stories, yet....but it's always interesting, being my ex wife doesn't cook...I always get a chuckle....but at least she's making an attempt to be domestic for them.
Jessica and Andrew will come home Monday AM, and we will celebrate Easter at my parents at Lunch. I have Easter Baskets for both of them. I think they will like !.
On Easter Day, I came home from American Express.....and made a Coconut Cream Cake (1st Time), Potato Salad and a Sweet Potato Casserole...These are my contributions to our Easter Meal on Monday. I, then, chatted with Elliot for a while...and slept rest of my day.
I still find it odd that I don't go to church on Easter Sunday. It's not that I'm not a believer....but I work such a crazy schedule, it's just difficult to make it to a service....Additionally, being gay, I'm not going to a church that "hates" gay people.
On Tuesday, my cousin, Janice is bringing her mom (Elsie) over to go out to lunch, to celebrate mom's Birthday. Jessica and Andrew, both, want to go. I think Aunt Dot will be coming, as well. Afterwards, we will all go visit Aunt Katie (suffering with Alzheimer's and recently diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer). Aunt Katie's days are numbered. She has had a wonderful life. She's got 3 kids ( my cousins) who love her dearly and would do anything for she and/or Uncle Watson. Also, she has, 7 grandchildren, I think (Mike has 2 kids...Kaye has 3....Ken...hmmm...2, ?).
On Wednesday, I work my Part time job for a few hours. Thursday, I'm off at Pier One and American Express. The kids and I may go hiking or do something fun that day !! YAH !!
Sunday, March 16, 2008
The Holocaust & Homosexuals
I have always had an interest in persecution of people groups and their ability to continue to thrive and even flourish through their torture.
We, as a people, are extremely intolerant of others who do not think, act, look, worhip and/or behave as we. Most of us are aware, due to much press, of the persecution and torture of many people groups througout history (i.e. Christians, Jews, Blacks in the US, etc). However, recently I discovered that homosexuals in Nazi Germany suffered equal and even harsher treatment than most Jews.
Below are some links of very interesting reading.
http://www.ushmm.org/museum/exhibit/online/hsx/
http://www.writing.upenn.edu/~afilreis/Holocaust/personalize-gays.html
http://www.holocaust-trc.org/homosx.htm
http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Holocaust/homo.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_gay_men_in_Nazi_Germany_and_the_Holocaust
We, as a people, are extremely intolerant of others who do not think, act, look, worhip and/or behave as we. Most of us are aware, due to much press, of the persecution and torture of many people groups througout history (i.e. Christians, Jews, Blacks in the US, etc). However, recently I discovered that homosexuals in Nazi Germany suffered equal and even harsher treatment than most Jews.
Below are some links of very interesting reading.
http://www.ushmm.org/museum/exhibit/online/hsx/
http://www.writing.upenn.edu/~afilreis/Holocaust/personalize-gays.html
http://www.holocaust-trc.org/homosx.htm
http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Holocaust/homo.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_gay_men_in_Nazi_Germany_and_the_Holocaust
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Lots of things have occurred this week, which I thought noteworthy.
Current Events :
Family:
Current Events :
- On Friday evening, March 14, Downtown Atlanta, GA, was hit by a Tornado. The CNN building, OMNI Hotel, Olympic Park, took significant damage. The storms came up thru SC and into NC. NC had a few Severe Thunderstorm Warnings and a couple of Tornado Warnings. We only experienced a few thunderstorms and a good amount of rain.
Family:
- Being the kids will be with their mom on Easter Sunday, My parents have agreed for us to celebrate Easter on Monday. I dare not skip Easter, being Jessica told me it was one of her favorite holidays. So, I am doing everything possible to make it a nice day !! I've already started purchasing things for their Easter Baskets. Of course, all 3 kids will get a basket. I need to mail Elliot's by Tuesday.
- My Mom's Birthday is coming up on the March 26. My cousin Janice is bringing her mom, Aunt Elsie, over from High Point, and we will go out and celebrate. I am sure it's kind of hard on my mom and Aunt Elsie. Two of their sisters' diseases / illnesses have progressed in such a way, they will not be able to celebrate with us. It was only just a couple of years ago, and all 4 sisters got together regularly for birthdays and special events. Now two of the sisters' health is to poor from them to get out. However, after going out for a meal, we will go visit Aunt Dot, who has Parkinson's Disease, and Aunt Katy, who has Alzheimer's and recently diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. Aging Sucks !!
- I have told Pier One management that I need to have either Tuesday or Wednesday off each week. I've been thinking about it a while now. I'm just not getting anything done around the house. Additionally, I'm just tired all the time. I'm especially excited this week, being I don't work Sunday night....off Monday from both jobs....then off Wednesday, both jobs. I should get some things accomplished !!!!
- I, finally, purchased my airline tickets to NYC for my April trip. Jessica will be there with her choral group. I'm flying up to spend time with Elliot and to attend some of Jessica's activities. It should be lots of fun !! I'm staying in a hotel this trip. There are some issues with Elliot's roommates. Apparently, Elliot's roommate's, live-in girlfriend, Kate, doesn't want me to stay at the house with Elliot and has been making all kinds of excuses for me not to stay there. I refuse to be a guest somewhere I'm not wanted, so I'm staying in a hotel. However, because of Kate's sudden dislike for me, it's causing a lot of tension with Elliot. Elliot has been extremely angry and upset with them for their lack of maturity. Elliot has been a loyal son. It's one thing to have done something tangible to cause her to feel badly towards me, but she's making up things to cause issues. If I had offended her, I could attempt to correct the problem or make amends, but she's making very random excuses why she doesn't feel I should stay at the house. 1. She feels like she will have to enertain me during the day while Elliot is working. When that excuse didn't hold water; 2. She told Elliot that I bitched alot about him behind his back, which made her uncomfortable. Fortunately, Elliot knew that was a lie. He knows I think the "sun rises and sets" with him. Funny thing, it has been quite the opposite. When I visited at Thanksgiving and at New Years, I was the one uncomfortable with their complaining about him. 3. The latest accusation has been that I have played to rough with their dog and have caused him emotional damage and they are having to hire a trainer to undo what I caused. Elliot and I, both, know this is a load of crap. I love their dog and have done nothing but love that animal....If anyone has mistreated the dog, it's been Steven and Kate. The dog gets yelled at and handled roughly for several minutes if it has an "accident" on the floor or does something they don't feel is appropriate. I think I'm more disturbed by the lies and this sudden dislike for me. It amazes me how some people would rather just end a relationship rather than have discussion to cause reconciliation. I'm not used to being disliked and it's been very disturbing. Elliot keeps telling me to not let it get to me....let it go.... Personally, Elliot and I don't see how he can remain with them long term.
House Remodel / Redecorate
Another week almost completed. A few updates to provide from my last post:
1. Front Door and Shutters have been primed and are ready for paint, which I will do on Sunday AM. YAH !!! Finally !!!
2. I have the supplies to work on the Wrought Iron furniture, but haven't started that project. May do that on Monday. Funny thing: I read there is some miracle stuff to put on the rusty furniture and it will not only get rid of rust but become a primer. It's called NAVAL JELLY.. How terrible of a name !!! I just hope it works !!
3. My Mom came out last Wednesday and she and I worked on taking down wallpaper in the kitchen. I was amazed how much we got down...but there's still quite a bit to be removed ! I'm not excited about moving the wallpaper behind the stove and refrigerator. UGH !!
There is so much to do inside, still. Once the wallpaper is removed from the kitchen, Wallpaper needs to be removed from 2 bathrooms. Afterwards, the kitchen, kitchen cabinets need painting, the hall and both baths. Jessica's bedroom and my bedroom need painting, as well !! I am getting there...slowly.
I act like I hate all of this work, but I really don't. I just feel like I've not been able to dedicate the time necessary to get any thing accomplished. However, with giving myself an extra day off from Pier One, during the week, I should begin tackling some of these projects.
1. Front Door and Shutters have been primed and are ready for paint, which I will do on Sunday AM. YAH !!! Finally !!!
2. I have the supplies to work on the Wrought Iron furniture, but haven't started that project. May do that on Monday. Funny thing: I read there is some miracle stuff to put on the rusty furniture and it will not only get rid of rust but become a primer. It's called NAVAL JELLY.. How terrible of a name !!! I just hope it works !!
3. My Mom came out last Wednesday and she and I worked on taking down wallpaper in the kitchen. I was amazed how much we got down...but there's still quite a bit to be removed ! I'm not excited about moving the wallpaper behind the stove and refrigerator. UGH !!
There is so much to do inside, still. Once the wallpaper is removed from the kitchen, Wallpaper needs to be removed from 2 bathrooms. Afterwards, the kitchen, kitchen cabinets need painting, the hall and both baths. Jessica's bedroom and my bedroom need painting, as well !! I am getting there...slowly.
I act like I hate all of this work, but I really don't. I just feel like I've not been able to dedicate the time necessary to get any thing accomplished. However, with giving myself an extra day off from Pier One, during the week, I should begin tackling some of these projects.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Feeling a Little Over Ambitious
I just finished my work week. Here's the things on my list for the day with no specific order:
1. Make a Chicken Pie for Dinner (Jessica's request)
2. Lowe's Improvements for supplies
3. Wire Brush 2 pieces of Iron Furniture....Sand down..
4. Prime Outdoor Shutters.
5. Clean and Sand the designated Kitchen Cabinets.
There's no way this all will get accomplished being I worked all night. Additionally, these are no small projects !!!
I need to round up some recruits !!
1. Make a Chicken Pie for Dinner (Jessica's request)
2. Lowe's Improvements for supplies
3. Wire Brush 2 pieces of Iron Furniture....Sand down..
4. Prime Outdoor Shutters.
5. Clean and Sand the designated Kitchen Cabinets.
There's no way this all will get accomplished being I worked all night. Additionally, these are no small projects !!!
I need to round up some recruits !!
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Another Mile Stone
Yesterday, Saturday, March 8, my former wife married, after a 3 year seperation and almost 1 year divorced. How do I feel? What am I thinking? Her marriage has caused me to reflect over our years of marriage and the ending of it.
After almost 17 years of marriage, I left. I would have never left if there had been anything to cling too....Friendship....love on some level...but there was nothing between us but anomosity, bitterness and resentment. I was tired of living the lie. First, you may think the LIE was me being gay. Yes, that is part of the story. Finally, I had admitted to myself, I was really gay. However, the rest of the LIE, was our marriage. I had come to the place after several years, I no longer loved my former wife and honestly, she didn't love or like me, contrary to the act she displayed for the church and our little "world". Our closest of friends were aware of the deep troubles within our marriage. However, the church and most of our world saw the "happy" married couple. "The Curtain" came up and the show began anytime we were around most people, but as soon we were in private, "The Curtain" fell hard, the show over, revealing 2 miserable human beings.
Do I have any regrets? Well, only 1 regret. I regret the way our seperation occurred. I wish I had the courage to sit down and speak with her about our failed marriage, and then had left and dealt with the "gay" issue at a later time. Instead, I was "confronted" about being gay and given ultimatums about who I chose as friends, which caused me to immediately become defensive and leave. Due to the manner of the confrontation (which was done with others present; an intervention), I was unwilling to really address the accusations. In fact, opinions had already been formed and no one was really interested in "truth", but a total admittance of guilt. However, I'm not denying guilt, but I wasn't necessarily guilty for all that I was being accused. Additionally, I wasn't the only guilty party in the room. I think if I had left first, my former wife would have had to deal with her part in the failed marriage. Instead, she was more concerned about absolving herself of any responsibility of the failed marriage and keeping up the act of the "woman abandoned".
In no way, do I want to give the impression that all 17 years of our marriage was miserable. I, truly, attempted to make the "best" of a bad situation. Also, there were happy times in our marriage. Two incredibly, beautiful children were conceived from our union. As bad as the marriage was, my former wife and I have had the children in common. We, both, love (d) the children. We had many happy times with them. The kids truly brought joy to us, both.
I truly hope for happiness for she and her new husband. I hope this will allow a new beginning to our relationship. We are forever bound by our children and future grandchildren. I hope for more than a tolerable relationship with she and her new husband, but a relationship which can be amiable.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Pride & Prejudice
My 16 year old daughter, my 25 year old son, and I, absolutely love this movie ! Matthew Macfadyen and Keira Knightley are just excellent. It's just a classy film !!!!!! We never get tired of it.....HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Squeezing More Time Out of My Busy Life
I knew buying my former house would require some significant work, being my ex wife had failed to provide any upkeep. However, I would have thought I would be much further along since moving in the home last August. To date, the family room is the only room completed.
Working full time / part time, and having 2 children still at home, has left little time for remodeling/redecorating. However, I now have the incentive to get the house completed. Really close friends are coming in May from Cleveland.
I am discovering the difficulty in finding the time and/or energy to complete the necessary projects. When home from work, I'm exhausted. When I do have the time, the children are home and I don't want to waste a moment with them. Therefore , I must prioritize the projects and plug away at them, no matter how slow I am. Slow is so much better than not accomplishing anything at all. So...Maybe, I will have an update soon !!!
Working full time / part time, and having 2 children still at home, has left little time for remodeling/redecorating. However, I now have the incentive to get the house completed. Really close friends are coming in May from Cleveland.
I am discovering the difficulty in finding the time and/or energy to complete the necessary projects. When home from work, I'm exhausted. When I do have the time, the children are home and I don't want to waste a moment with them. Therefore , I must prioritize the projects and plug away at them, no matter how slow I am. Slow is so much better than not accomplishing anything at all. So...Maybe, I will have an update soon !!!
Monday, February 25, 2008
Still Adjusting to a Partially Empty Nest
Elliot is working on 6 months in NYC ! Ole Dad is still adjusting to having his adopted son living so far away !!!
I've known for several years now that he wanted to live in NYC, but it came so fast. I feel like I only had him under my care for just a few short years and now he's gone !
Last year, the anticipation of him moving after graduating from college, was horrible. However, the actual moving him to NYC was worse. I will never forget him driving me to the airport after moving him there. I will never forget thinking I was going to sob in front of him and everyone at JFK. However, I surprised myself and was able to hold it together until.....Until the plane started to land at RDU. As the plane began it's descent, I began to feel this pressure within me. A pressure that needed release, but there was no way I was going to start crying on the plane. The grief I was feeling was deep and very real. I was unsure if I began to cry, would I be able to control the sobs. Thank God, I made it off the plane. I walked down the concourse feeling as if I were about to completely lose it. I walked off the escalator, and there stood my friend from work (chara), who was picking me up. I could hold it in no longer. I just began sobbing in baggage claim !!!
The deep grief of not having him in my day to day life has subsided. However, I don't think I've ever picked myself up and begun to live, completely since. My family is no longer totally complete without him here. I don't see him daily....don't get to give him a hug every day.....not able to protect him like I did before....don't get to cook for him....don't get to sit and just chat with him. Being Elliot is only 16 years younger than me, we interact as friends, as well as, father /son. I can say, with all my heart, he's my best friend. Being he's gay, as well, I think I'm even more connected to him. The younger children have been so supportive of me being gay and coming out, but most of my support has been from Elliot. He can relate in a way the younger two kids, can't.
The last years having him apart of the family, has been the happiest time of my life. In no way, do I want to diminish the happiness I feel having Jessica and Andrew, but I feel Elliot made our family complete and whole ! Now, there is a hole, without him here. How do I move on ? Some days, I feel so angry at him for living so far away ! I feel so cheated not having him here, unable to be apart of his daily life. On the Otherhad, I feel so proud of him that he is living his dream and stepped out and took the chance ! I just have so many mixed feelings !!
I want him to be confident, independent, self reliant, but I want him to miss his Daddy !!! LOL His daddy misses him so much !!!!
I love you, Elliot.....With all my heart !!
I've known for several years now that he wanted to live in NYC, but it came so fast. I feel like I only had him under my care for just a few short years and now he's gone !
Last year, the anticipation of him moving after graduating from college, was horrible. However, the actual moving him to NYC was worse. I will never forget him driving me to the airport after moving him there. I will never forget thinking I was going to sob in front of him and everyone at JFK. However, I surprised myself and was able to hold it together until.....Until the plane started to land at RDU. As the plane began it's descent, I began to feel this pressure within me. A pressure that needed release, but there was no way I was going to start crying on the plane. The grief I was feeling was deep and very real. I was unsure if I began to cry, would I be able to control the sobs. Thank God, I made it off the plane. I walked down the concourse feeling as if I were about to completely lose it. I walked off the escalator, and there stood my friend from work (chara), who was picking me up. I could hold it in no longer. I just began sobbing in baggage claim !!!
The deep grief of not having him in my day to day life has subsided. However, I don't think I've ever picked myself up and begun to live, completely since. My family is no longer totally complete without him here. I don't see him daily....don't get to give him a hug every day.....not able to protect him like I did before....don't get to cook for him....don't get to sit and just chat with him. Being Elliot is only 16 years younger than me, we interact as friends, as well as, father /son. I can say, with all my heart, he's my best friend. Being he's gay, as well, I think I'm even more connected to him. The younger children have been so supportive of me being gay and coming out, but most of my support has been from Elliot. He can relate in a way the younger two kids, can't.
The last years having him apart of the family, has been the happiest time of my life. In no way, do I want to diminish the happiness I feel having Jessica and Andrew, but I feel Elliot made our family complete and whole ! Now, there is a hole, without him here. How do I move on ? Some days, I feel so angry at him for living so far away ! I feel so cheated not having him here, unable to be apart of his daily life. On the Otherhad, I feel so proud of him that he is living his dream and stepped out and took the chance ! I just have so many mixed feelings !!
I want him to be confident, independent, self reliant, but I want him to miss his Daddy !!! LOL His daddy misses him so much !!!!
I love you, Elliot.....With all my heart !!
A Week Out of Commission
Recently, I had the flu ! O My Gosh ! How miserable can you get ?! I feel like I lost a week of my life !!
I got off work on Monday AM (I work 3rd shift over the weekends) and normally, I stay up, clean house, and cook for the kids. Last week, I was just so very tired. Therefore, I just went and laid down across the bed to nap a bit. The next thing, I know, it's 3:30 and time to pick Andrew up from school. However, I could hardly move. I felt like I had been hit by a MAC Truck. My body ached, my head hurt, had the chills and was so congested, I could hardly breathe. That was Monday.....I didn't return to work until the following Sunday night !!! A week off my feet !
I haven't been that sick in years !! My scalp even ached . However, one thing I have learned....Don't fight it....just completely let your body succomb to being sick. Sleep...drink lots of fluids....rest .....and watch alot of mindless TV ! Will and Grace.....The Golden Girls were the shows of choice !!
By Saturday, I felt so much better, but my body was so weak. I had a couple of date offers for Saturday night, but they were declined, being I was still recovering.
A couple of weeks have passed since first getting sick. Much better !! YAH !!!
I got off work on Monday AM (I work 3rd shift over the weekends) and normally, I stay up, clean house, and cook for the kids. Last week, I was just so very tired. Therefore, I just went and laid down across the bed to nap a bit. The next thing, I know, it's 3:30 and time to pick Andrew up from school. However, I could hardly move. I felt like I had been hit by a MAC Truck. My body ached, my head hurt, had the chills and was so congested, I could hardly breathe. That was Monday.....I didn't return to work until the following Sunday night !!! A week off my feet !
I haven't been that sick in years !! My scalp even ached . However, one thing I have learned....Don't fight it....just completely let your body succomb to being sick. Sleep...drink lots of fluids....rest .....and watch alot of mindless TV ! Will and Grace.....The Golden Girls were the shows of choice !!
By Saturday, I felt so much better, but my body was so weak. I had a couple of date offers for Saturday night, but they were declined, being I was still recovering.
A couple of weeks have passed since first getting sick. Much better !! YAH !!!
Friday, January 18, 2008
Finally, Winter Arrived in NC
Finally, Winter has arrived in NC !! Thursday AM, we woke to Snow, Sleet, Freezing rain. The Temperatures for the day hovered around freezing. Of Course, the kids were home from school. Andrew couldn't stay in if he tried. He was constantly outdoors with a neighbor kid, playing and riding bikes. Jessica and I layed around and had a "Will & Grace" marathon.
I made soup for lunch then napped in the afternoon, being I had to work Thursday night.
The Temps are looking really cold for the weekend. Saturday night 18 degrees, Sunday night, 15 degrees and Monday night 12 degrees. This is cold for NC.
On Thursday evening, I listened to a friend on online radio. Tim is a volunteer disk jockey for a public radio station in Grand Marais, MN. Now it's cold there !!!! I think Thursday night was to be -1 degree !!! Grand Marais sits on Lake Superior, about 110 miles NNW of Duluth.
Tim is such a nice guy. We have lots in common and he's become such a good friend. I am priviliged to call him a friend.
Here's his blog: www.timouth.com
I made soup for lunch then napped in the afternoon, being I had to work Thursday night.
The Temps are looking really cold for the weekend. Saturday night 18 degrees, Sunday night, 15 degrees and Monday night 12 degrees. This is cold for NC.
On Thursday evening, I listened to a friend on online radio. Tim is a volunteer disk jockey for a public radio station in Grand Marais, MN. Now it's cold there !!!! I think Thursday night was to be -1 degree !!! Grand Marais sits on Lake Superior, about 110 miles NNW of Duluth.
Tim is such a nice guy. We have lots in common and he's become such a good friend. I am priviliged to call him a friend.
Here's his blog: www.timouth.com
Sunday, January 13, 2008
A Significant Other? Is It Necessary?
I'm a single man....who happens to be divorced and admittedly gay. I'm the father of 3 wonderful kids. I have a full and part time job. I'm redecorating / remodeling a house. My life is full...very full. However, every now and then I feel lonely....desiring a "significant" other. I've been exploring those feelings lately. Am I desiring just sex? Well....that wouldn't hurt !! But....it's a deeper feeling. I have a good life....A very good life...but there seems to be something within me desiring someone to share this life . Am I in a culture stressing the importance of a significant other? Am I being led to believe I can't have a full and meaningful life as a single man?
I'm not going against the flow and choosing to be single the rest of my life. However, I'm not on the prowl either...searching every online dating service....bar...or other venues....looking for a man. I'm not that lonely....and besides, I'm way to busy with my family.
I've been single 3 years now....I've dated a few men. Most men I'm discovering feel like a date consists of dinner, movie and sex. Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge advocate of sex....less anyone thinks I'm a prude....However, a 1st, 2nd or 3rd date is not a license to make the move for sex. What has happened to developing a friendship....giving the friendship the time to blossom into something special and significant ? I'm discovering we (gay men) jump from the meeting to the bedroom...then get dissillusioned, move on to the next available man...leaving a wake of men who are increasingly insecure with themselves. Don't any of us believe in "treating others as we, ourselves, would like to be treated"?
I'm discovering men in the 30's / 40's are usually categorized in 3 ways;
1. Taken ( I'm discovering I'm a rare breed of gay men who believe if you are taken that means you are off limits. I'm amazed how many men will cheat. )
2. Damaged (A high number of single men in my age category seem to have a lot of emotional baggage from previous relationships and are emotional cripples...unable to enjoy a healthy relationship.
3. Selfish (Another group of men are the ones who have been single way to long...This manis stuck in a rut and expects everyone to bend to their wants...needs...schedules. This man is the type who does not understand or chooses not to understand the necessity of the "give and takes" in a healthy relationship. This man usually just wants sex...nothing more).
I do believe there is a fourth man, but he's an endangered species. He's a single....working....man...who enjoys life....giving back to the community and not just wrapped up totally into his own little kingdom. He's emotional available and ready for a relationship...but waiting for the right friendship to come along to blossom into something meaningful and significant. However, as he waits for that friendship/relationship...he continues on with an already meaningful life.
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